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Showing posts with label Criticism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Criticism. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

How should I handle criticism?

You know, somebody is talking negative about you, they are dumping garbage. You should not hold your gunny bag and catch it. When somebody is dumping garbage, you simply move away from there. Don't take it in.

If they say something negative about you, there are two reasons: one is, either they are doing it out of jealousy, or they are doing it because they love you very much. They are good friends with you and want the best for you, so they show your negative points or your weak points.
So if they say something negative, either you thank them because they took the guts and said it, which others normally don't want to say to you.

If someone criticizes you, they gathered the courage to do so, and they put their friendship at risk to criticize you. So thank them. And if they are just saying it out of jealousy, just forget about them and move on with a smile.


|| Jai Guru Dev ||

Friday, October 7, 2011

Repose in the self


September 21, 2011

Anandautsav with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar at Goa

Q: Guruji, if someone criticizes us, how should we deal with them?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Give that person a surprise. Tell them, ‘wow, you said such wonderful things! How did you figure out these facts?’ Try this and see what happens. If someone criticizes you, you counter it with four criticisms of your own and the chain continues. Instead thank them for their kind words, and see what happens. The day you drop your defences that person will hang their head out of shame and embarrassment. They will not know how to respond. This is how we should confuse those who criticize. Have some fun in this situation. What is the fun in finding fault? Our life should not become a football of others’ opinions. Repose in the self!

Q: Guruji, when will inflation cease?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: When corruption ends. Inflation is related to corruption. You would be surprised to know that we sell our sugar to the world for Rs.12 per kilo and in the domestic market for Rs.35 per kilo. Some employees of Air India came up to me in Frankfurt and shared that Air India used to operate a highly successful sector between Birmingham and New Delhi which was usually fully booked. This sector was responsible for bringing in considerable profits for Air India. But one day a minister came and terminated the flight services, why? So that he can allot this sector to another airline. The airline that was allotted this sector was unsuccessful in making this route profitable and went into a loss and now our national airline is also going into a loss. It is very unfortunate. Other countries are operating their flights within our country and turning in profits. Then why is our national airline incurring losses? We need to ask this question, don’t we? Our voices should be heard. This country has been ruined not because of bad people but because good people like us keep quiet.

Q: Can one begin the fight to curb corruption on one’s own effort?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: The fight against corruption should begin on one’s own effort. First you stop giving bribes. Do you know when we started this drive against corruption and against terrorism? On 1 March 2009 in Delhi. Then we went to fourteen states and in all the satsangs we asked everyone to take an oath, ‘I will not give bribe’. So it starts with us, by our not giving bribes.

Q: Guruji, can you reveal the secret power by which you grant a fresh lease of life to someone, such as me, who has been suffering from a terminal illness and is reaching the very end of their life journey?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: See there is will power and power behind a blessing. You can also do it. Those who have done the Blessings Course raise your hands. Are your blessings working for others? When we don’t want anything for ourselves, there is a power that can allow us to fulfil others’ desires. The main thing is one should not desire anything for oneself. One should be hollow and empty. The desire for moksha is enough, it will be attained.

Q: Guruji, how should one become an ideal (not idol!) husband or wife?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Idol husband and wife are Lord Ram and Sita and they are in the temple. I am inexperienced in answering this question. I can only provide an answer to a question in which I have experience. But on the basis of what I have heard from people, I can say that a wife should never hurt the ego of her husband. It may be that the husband is not using his intellect and the wife is thinking, ‘oh he is so stupid!’ Instead she should say, ‘the world might consider you stupid, but I know how intelligent you are. You are the most capable person in this world.’ This is how you should flatter your husband. This is what wives have to do. The moment the husband enters the home, shower him with praise, strengthen his ego. Now a secret for men never hurt the feelings of your wife. A wife is sentimental. It is possible that she may complain about her parents, but you should never join in. You should stay quiet. Who knows when she might switch sides, and you will be stuck in the middle. It can be very dangerous. You need to be safe. Never say anything about the in-laws. Your wife may complain, but you should never say anything. Secondly, if she needs to go for satsang, shopping or to the temple, never stop her. Don’t ask her why she goes to shop every day. Just give her your credit card. Then there will be peace at home.

Q: Guruji, what is the difference between atma (soul) and param-atma (God)? Can we see God?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: God is not an object who will appear in front of you and say, ‘My dear, I am very pleased with you, with your tapasya (penance)’. That will only happen in TV serials. God is that which is beyond the soul. First bring your awareness to your soul, ‘who am I’. Everything is driven by the power of God. Have faith and surrender, meditate. When we are in a state of restful awareness, our channel opens up.

Q: Guruji, forgiving someone’s mistake is a noble thing. But is it okay for someone to commit the same mistake again and again?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Twist their ears, and if the same mistake is repeated, give them a slap. Sama (equality), daan (concession), bheda (disagreement), dand (punishment) are the four types of solutions to consider if mistakes are repeated. If nothing works, then pray sincerely for wisdom to dawn on that person.

Q: They say the world will come to an end in 2012. What are your thoughts?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: In 2012 everything will come to an end - only in movies. No, no, everything will go on as usual. People will become more spiritual, more humane, things will be better, don’t worry!

Q: (A member of the audience asked a question and it was inaudible)
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There is not even one person in this world who has not experienced joy. If there was only sorrow, one wouldn’t be aware of it. To experience sorrow there has to be an occasional experience of joy. You experienced a little bit of joy that is why you are able to experience sadness. But we tend to eternalize our difficulties; ‘I always have problems’, ‘I am always sick, everyone is sick.’ If ten or fifteen people around you fall sick, what do you say, ‘Oh everyone in Goa is sick.’ Everyone being sick is impossible! In the same way sometimes you say, ‘I always make mistakes’. I say, that is not true. Do not eternalize or generalize problems. Take a sankalpa (resolution) today that only good things will happen to me. As you sow so shall you reap; so have faith in yourself that you will be successful in whatever you do, okay!

Q: Guruji, how do you find an ideal Guru in the physical form?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: I have no idea! Ideal disciple I can say but I don’t know what an ideal Guru is. Ideal disciple is one who does sadhana, seva and satsang, and does not dig wells in several different places and does not engage in spiritual shopping. One who honours everyone, and stays in knowledge. Guru is one who does not want anything for himself, one who shows the path to anyone he meets.

Q: Guruji, so many people from around the world love you very much. What is the secret?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: The secret is we are all humans. Won’t humans love humans? And when I go anywhere, I do not feel I am in a foreign land. All countries appear to be my very own and I feel a sense of belongingness with everyone.

Q: Guruji, is there an end to birth and death or does it go on infinitely? When will the present Kaliyug end?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: See, present Kaliyug is there only for five hundred years, and another twenty thousand years in the big cycle. But in the small cycle the good period has started. Now is the transition period and good period has started. Good people’s voice will be heard so don’t worry about having bad times. Kaliyug is not all that bad, you should remember. Even in Satyug there were four raakshasas (demons). They wouldn’t even allow you to do ‘Om Namo Narayana’ jaap at home. They would come with a ‘talvaar’ (sword) and cut your head. You have heard all that. So don’t glorify Satyug as though there was no crime then. I don’t think Kaliyug is so bad that all crime will be here now. So don’t sit down doing nothing but blaming the time. This is wrong, we shouldn’t blame the time.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Take refuge in me, then I will rid you of all sins.

Sharing: Guruji, I want to share an experience in front of everybody. I apparently had this health problem called systemic lupus erythematosus. It is a weird autoimmune disorder for which the doctors said that for the rest of my life I will have to be on steroids and I will have to be dependent on somebody else, but since then I have just been practicing Sudarshan Kriya and following everything that Guruji says, seva, sadhana and satsang and smiling and it has been one year and I haven’t taken a single dose of steroids. Thank you, Guruji. We all love you a lot.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There are people sitting there in their air-conditioned rooms in Mumbai and in Delhi and criticizing left, right and center, Art of Living. They have no idea! They write whatever they want to write, cynical, sceptical...they don’t realize how much this can help the society. The world is appreciating, all over the world, so many countries! Kamal was in Pakistan. She was sharing her experience, how people in Pakistan welcome this whole knowledge. She was on three television shows and people were calling in and they were all saying, ‘this is what we need’. And in Pakistan the courses are happening. Just imagine if the whole of Pakistan does Sudarshan Kriya, and nobody started hating anybody, terrorism would simply be finished; not necessarily even the whole of Pakistan, at least ten percent of the population started doing, it will make a huge difference.

Q: All the scriptures we have, in all the religions say the same thing that God is love, and love is God. Then why are there so many scriptures all over the world?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Why should there not be,tell me why should there not be?

Q: Guruji, the entire India knows that all the people came together and through peaceful protest we have compelled the parliament to go through a resolution. But what is the way forward now? How can we really eradicate corruption from the nation? What is the practical way and how we should go about it, especially all the youth of this nation?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You know I have said there are three formulas: One is everyone take pledge, ‘we will not give bribe’, second youths like you go with a sticker, ’I will not take bribe’ stickers and put it in all the government offices and the third thing is a strong Lokpal bill. For that we have already impressed it on all the members of the parliament. See, unless the electoral reforms happen, and the parliamentary democracy has some loopholes, those things are corrected, just a legislation alone will not help. There are many legislations in this country, but they are not being honoured.

Q: I am the mother of an eighteen-year old. My son used to have a lot of problems just like any other teenager and I had reached a stage where I used to wonder how I could change my son, And then I came to know about the YES plus course and I put him through it and there is a whole lot of changes in my son, a huge transformation. I see him doing yoga. And the reason why I am here standing in front of you is because of my son - I saw the transformation in him and I am here. Okay, I am hooked on to you now, thanks to my son. Now my point is there must be a lot of mothers like me suffering silently, trying to figure out what exactly they can do to change their children, because especially the way things are going on these days, so much money, pubs, whole lot of things happening. Why can’t Art of Living reach out to schools? Talk about all that you have to offer, reach out to 16 year olds and 17 year olds. Please. Reach out with this course. I am sure a lot of people are going to change.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You know mothers like you can contribute. Mothers like you, few of you can join together. If you talk to principals in various schools, colleges, in your free time; take a little time and do this seva, do this service - that would be even better. Our approach, any way we are doing, it has its limitation. People think we have an ulterior motive. Oh, they want to increase their...whatever. They may need something for themselves that is why they are doing. They don’t realize we are doing for the sake of the children and for the sake of our society. So we will do that, we are anyway doing. We have done here in Karnataka, all the second year engineering college students in Maanyavati college project, twenty two thousand of them. It was one of the best projects because the youth had such a transformation, just engineering college students. But they should do it for all the students in all the degree colleges, all levels, but for that you all have to write to the government, and the education department.

Q: Guruji, how to implement ‘sampoorna sharanaagati’ (total surrender) in day to day life? How to be conscious while doing daily tasks? That ‘I’ factor is there.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Let it be there. Don’t worry. Don’t try to erase your ego; if you find your ego sticks, never mind, let it be there. Keep it in the pocket or your handbag.

Q: Would writing in a newspaper help? I am a journalist myself.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yeah, yeah, sure! There is ABC, Art of Living Bureau of Communication here.

Q: Guruji, what is the effect of tantras?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Now that you are on this path and you have your mantra, you do not have to worry about tantras.

Q: Gurudev, I was thinking since you spoke about Pakistan, so don’t you think Art of Living is a better option than educational reforms in Pakistan because any educational reform in my opinion is going to cover people of age group, let us say, five to twenty five; any one older than that might be reluctant to go to school or attend educational seminars or things like that, but Art of Living is such that it covers the whole range of population?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: That is what we are doing. We are educating people in all levels.

Q: (A member of the audience asked a question and it was inaudible)
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: How do you feel today? Very nice! If those things are coming up, let it come up. Do a little bit yoga, some walking, some exercise to supplement that.

Q: (A member of the audience asked a question and it was inaudible)
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Because ‘Sarva dharmaan paritajye, ma mekam sharanam’. Take refuge in me, then I will rid you of all sins. He puts a condition for it. Bheeshma Pitaamah didn’t do that. This is my dharma, he was holding on to it. He didn’t totally give up, right?

Q: You were talking about people criticizing and all that. I did a lot of reading up about you on the net. There are a whole lot of negative things written, and there is nothing contradicting it. Also, whatever is there on the net, it is not very clear cut. It is more like a publicity thing, I am sorry to say this. I think the real essence of Art of Living is not really coming out. If I did not know about my son, believe me, I am sorry if I can be honest with you, I didn’t believe in you before. What happened to my son, I am a non-believer in all this; but I am here because I saw it happening in my life. But how many people are going to know by just reading your postings etc? No. So I believe that what you probably need is effective writing, books, maybe on the net, giving proper contradictory statements, giving answers. There are so many things being said which are not right! Why isn’t it being answered?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: (Sri Sri Laughs)Correct, correct, correct. We need good writers, yeah! You all can come forward and you can just write. You know one thing, some of these people who write negatively, I tell them write as much as you want. It doesn’t matter. It is that if one person is benefited from there, all the people around are benefited. Like this it catches on. Nothing can stop this flow. It will go on. And I like critics. Critics are very good. We should welcome critics. But cynical people, they are suffering themselves. We can’t tell anything about them. Cynicism is bad. Criticism is good.

Q: Guruji, I am from Gujarat and am a school teacher in a tribal village. When I taught them Surya Namaskaar, some of them refused because of conversion. So much conversion is happening that they think that by my making them do Surya Namaskaar, I will change their religion. What can I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Show them videos of westerners and nuns doing Sourya Namaskaar. Take one of the American teachers from the ashram and have them teach it. The whole world is doing it, why can’t you?

Monday, July 20, 2009

Confidence, Commitment and Responsibility

I once happened to meet a fragile-looking woman from a cottage industry. She had stitched a handkerchief, and she had 17 points on why her handkerchief was the best in the whole world. It was just a handkerchief after all, but the way she presented it made all the difference! She was so confident and she took so much pride in sharing it's size, color, stitching, corners and other qualities - 17 such points that made her handkerchief the best in the world. When people take such pride, then they can come up very well. Set goals in life and then revive them. What are the goals that you have set in life? There may be many obstacles, but don't drop your highest goals in life - they bring direction to life. I don't say life will be smooth always: It will not always be a bed of roses, but if your vision is large, and if you go on - if you continue with the same zeal, you will be given the strength. What stops you from taking responsibility? Sheer laziness; or fear - whether it is right or wrong, whether you will be able to complete it. You are afraid of failure. Even if there is no failure, just an indication of failure upsets you. If you can merely become aware of this, it is good. Support needs to come from within. It's not just food and water that is needed. Spiritual strength is something that can lift you. In order to find satisfaction in life, you need to do some service and to sustain seva activities, you need sadhana (spiritual practices), otherwise you will experience burn-out. Also, be ready to take criticism. Whenever you do public work or social work, you should be ready to take criticism. You need to be like a solid rock. Nothing can shake you! You should welcome criticism. Sometimes, criticism can come out of anger or jealousy, but no criticism should make you fade or shy away. When someone criticizes you, behave as if you are the third party. Then, you will be untouched. You will take something from it, but you will not fume; you will not burn inside. You will be able to drop it. You should be able to give criticism as well. Friends who do not criticize when needed are useless. The purpose of criticism is to improve, adopt, change. But if your mode of criticism is unpalatable, how will others accept it? An arrow should reach it's mark. See that your criticism is not wasted. You need to develop this skill; it cannot be learnt. By fostering a sense of belonging, see that the person is in a mood to take criticism. When you want to do something, look at your strength. Your weakness is that you start looking at other's strengths! When you running, you can only look at the track below, not at who is next to you! Like a horse with blinders, look at your path only! Let anybody else do whatever he or she wants to. Also, any job that you do, should be done with commitment. Otherwise, you will do the job when you enjoy it and stop doing it when you don't. Our likes and dislikes change so often. You can find real joy only in service. Responsibility and commitment do generate some stress and worry. The best way to handle this is not to resist stress. It is okay to be stressed for a while, but don't get distressed!