Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness

Q: Guruji, sometimes, dealing with kids gets so tricky that I tend to lose my patience. Everyday I decide to be calm, but when the situation arises I am not able to control myself. What should I do?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You can’t do anything about it now, you have to live life spontaneously. Do you see what I am saying? It is okay to sometimes lose your temper, never mind. You should leave a little room for imperfection in life, and start accepting.

What did you learn in the Part 1 Course? Accept people and situations as they are. It is a lifetime process. Every day you get reminded of this. When these situations come to you, you get reminded, ’Yes, I have to do this, this and this.’

So this is the direction in which we go. Sometimes you slip here and there, never mind, keep moving. Definitely one day, you will achieve perfection.

The other day, one teacher who has been in The Art of Living for around 20 years said to me, ‘Guruji, sometimes it feels so strange that I am happy all the time. Come what may I am happy’.

And I said, ‘Finally!’

20 years is not too much time, it is okay. But you don’t need to take 20 years. Turn back and see the growth in you; this is why these celebrations are done. What is the purpose of Guru Purnima? Once in a year, you turn back and see where you were and how much you have progressed. How you respond differently to situations now and how your reactions have reduced and responses have increased.

So, life is a continuous process. Isn’t it so?

How many of you feel that a lot of transformation has already happened? (Many raise their hands). No one can say that nothing has happened. No one can say, ‘I have not transformed. There is not an iota of change in me.’

If someone says that you should salute them because they are born enlightened.

Some kids are there to teach you a lot of lessons. And it is okay for mothers and fathers to sometimes get upset with their kids. You don’t have to bring them up with all rosy, rosy, nicey, nicey and sweet words all the time. Then you will make them very weak.

I have seen parents who have never scolded their children. These children when they grow old, they can’t stand any criticism. A little criticism, a little disrespect from someone or a little bit of failure rattles them. They become so upset because they never experienced anything like that at home.

So at home, being upset with kids sometimes (not all the time), is like giving them a vaccination so they get stronger to the world outside home. But don’t take this as an excuse to all the time get upset with the kids, it does not work. Too much of it is also bad. If you are scolding your children every day on a routine basis, they become so thick skinned and they go all the way to the other side, which is also not good. A little dose here and there is okay.

People who irritate you, in some way or the other can bring about the best in you. When everyone around you is wonderful, you don’t need any skill to handle a situation. It will only happen when there are people whom you think are unreasonable.

Q: How much importance should one give to astrology, particularly when choosing a partner?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: It is good; you can compare the charts to see how much you naturally match with each other and how much you have to compromise.

Usually in the Vedic astrology they say, ‘Out of 30 points, 20 matches and 10 you will have to compromise.’ So these calculations are there. It is good to know this, so if one of you gets upset you get reminded that you need compromise a little more; yes!

Of course, planets do have an influence, but don’t think it is one way. You too have an influence on the planets. It is two ways. In the universe it is all two ways.

So what you can do? You can do chanting. That is why it is said, ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ is a chant which controls all the planets. On top of all the planets is the Shiva principle. So correction is available there. The correction is Om Namah Shivaya because this chant has all the elements which can nullify any bad effect.

Do you know the reason why there is the number 108? How many of you don’t know what 108 signifies? 108 signifies the nine planets and 12 houses, the constellations. When nine planets move through 12 constellations, they make 108 different changes. So to nullify those changes or any unpleasant effect, we say Om Namah Shivaya.

So it is like a shield. It is considered a very auspicious mantra. Even the steps to this hall are 108 steps from the bottom. That means you transcend all planetary effects and rise to pure consciousness.

Sadhana, pranayama, meditation, satsang, chanting, singing, what is the point of doing all this if everything is being ruled by the planet? No, these are like the checks and balances. They will counter the effects and bring more independence; otherwise our consciousness is dependent on time and space. Also, sadhana brings freedom, to a great extent. I won’t say 100%, but yes, to a great extent.

It is like, when it is raining and you go out, you have a choice, either you go out and get drenched, or take a rain coat and not get drenched.

Q: If you are not sure of a decision, for example, getting married, should you just go with the flow and get married or wait until you are certain?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You should ask your partner with whom you want to get married.

There are some who are fickle minded, who need a push to do anything, including marriage. And there are others who face such situations once in a while. So I leave the choice to you.

And there are yet others, who would like to marry every time they see a beautiful girl or boy, and the moment it starts becoming a little more concrete, they have doubts whether they should or they should not, or if somebody else may be better.

Again, here I would say, take the opinion of your partner, whether they want to get married to you, to such a fickle minded person.

Do you know what my usual answer for all these questions are? Choice is yours, blessing is mine!

Q: I have a sincere desire to bring the Prison Smart Program to Miami, Florida. My degree is criminology and psychology. Our state has more money allocated to prisons, buildings and education. How can I help?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: That is good, go ahead. And when you go to meet the prison officials, don’t go alone. Go as a group of four to five and talk to them and convince them. Show them the videos and show them the experience of people who have undergone the program, and what transformation has occurred in their lives. I know, no sane person will say no when they see all these experiences. They are simply amazing and touches anyone’s heart.

Q: Death has no age. So when a person, young or old dies, is their soul of the same age?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Soul does not have an age, and you said it correct, nor does death.

Death does not have a time and soul does not have an age, correct! Everything starts from the beginning.

Q: How do I get clarity when things are very ambiguous?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There is a proverb in Chinese which says - When you feel so confused, take a pillow and go to bed. When you wake up next morning, you will be much better.

You know it is our ambition; our over ambitiousness does not let us choose things.

I just received an interesting SMS from somebody. A devotee went to a very rich person’s home and they asked him, ‘What would you like to drink - coffee, tea, coke, hot chocolate, milk, ojasvita’, and the list went on.

Then the devotee said, ‘Okay, I’ll have tea.’

Then he said, ‘What tea would you like to have? Ceylon tea, Fruit tea, Darjeeling tea, Indian tea or Burmese tea’, they gave a choice of another ten teas.

He said, ‘Okay, Ceylon tea. ’ And then they said, ‘Do you want black tea, milk tea, cold tea, or tea with lemon in it. What type of tea?’ He said, ‘Milk tea.’

‘What type of milk do you want? Pasteurized, unpasteurized, whole milk, 2%, 2.5% or 10%?’

He said, ‘Oh my god! Let me have black tea.’

‘So then do you want sugar in it?’

He said, ‘Yes please.’

Then they said, ‘What sugar do you want? Crystal sugar, brown sugar or honey; what do you want?’

He said, ‘Oh! I am dying out of thirst!’

And then the person asked, ‘How do you want to die? Become a shareholder in our company or our supplier?’

So too many choices can make your head reel.

Q: Please comment on this. I see so many people who are very close to you. I feel that I am not special. How do I feel the personal connection with you? I feel it is necessary to have personal connection in order to be 100% on the path.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Certain things you should assume, and this is one of the things that you should assume – we have a personal connection; that is it, full stop. Now, don’t question it another time.

No point in questioning your connection. We are all connected. There is no choice. Neither do I have a choice, nor do you have a choice. So relax, put to rest this particular question if it bothers you. Don’t think some are close to me and some are not; someone is special and someone is not special. No, you are as special and everyone is unique.

Engage yourself in any of the project. The more you engage in some or the other project, the more we will have to interact. Otherwise what is there to interact? ‘Hello! How are you? Are you doing fine?’ And you will say, ‘Yes’, and I will say, ‘Yes’, and that is it, we part. But if you have something to do, like Sushant has done something on Twitter, so I said to Sushant, ‘Let us see, come and let us discuss. I want to learn what Twitter is.’

Sushant got an award, do you know about that? He was in Obama’s campaign and he did something with Twitter and was awarded for that, just two days back.

So when everyone was scratching their head, he came up with an innovative idea. He thought out of the box and the company honored him. The company Twitter honored him for thinking out-of-the-box.

So take a project like that. Take a project on whatever you like.

Now Meenakshi came up with a wonderful cookbook. Meenakshi and her team have come up with a cookbook. It is not a book actually but pages that cooks can keep in front of them and start cooking.

So it is a project and like that if everyone comes up with a project then there is something to sit and talk about. Otherwise in silence, in meditation, we are already connected, we are linked.

And anytime you need any help anywhere, when you ask, do you get it or not? How many of you get it? (Everyone raises their hands).

See, everyone gets it. So I am doing my job!

When someone comes and apologizes, it is our magnanimity to say, ‘Oh, okay never mind.’ I tell you our magnanimity is in forgiving. Not forgiving, doesn’t show or speak very good of you. You should give ample chances for one to correct them self.

Q: I have many erotic thoughts. Are they harmful?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Never mind, don’t worry; don’t identify yourself with the thoughts. Thoughts are thoughts, they come and go, don’t worry. As long as you don’t give them power, you don’t act on them, you are very safe.

It takes time for your consciousness to be so dispassionate and so centered that such thoughts don’t occur to your mind, and it doesn’t happen right away. I tell you, it takes its own time.

You might have noticed, as your sadhana improves, these sorts of thoughts are fewer and fewer, isn’t it? Erotic and violent thoughts are fewer and fewer.

Q: Thank you so much for blessing me to be here on this inauguration. It was so amazing. Each of the speakers touched my heart with their words.

I would like to thank my sister and parents who have been a combination of mediation, commitment and service. In the least of my imaginations did I ever see myself here, this moment!

I also want to thank my Art of Living teachers, brothers and sisters, who at different times have inspired me to stay on this path. My husband has been an amazing inspiration and my son as well, whom I consider my first Guru. He has made me a seeker. Thank you so very much for everything.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: That is good. This is what we need to recognize. Our company is something important. Our friends, our relatives can take us up and they can pull us down too.

You also have to see, anyone who tends to go towards negativity, you should try to pull them up. Get them out of the negative tendencies. It is very easy to succumb to negative emotions; blaming, complaining, world over this is so prevalent, isn’t? But it is the knowledge that is so precious. When we soak ourselves more and more in knowledge, we gain that strength to move up and pull everyone up.

Usually formal programs are very boring, half the people fall asleep or dose off. But today’s program was very good, everybody was alive. And another thing, don’t think the whole credit goes to the speakers; it depends on the audience as well. It is the audience that brings out the good things in a speaker as well. So, when you are all here, very conscious and aware people, when you are all sitting here with such a beautiful heart, beautiful intentions and big vision, the speaker can’t but speak appropriate things.

So it is always a combination of the speaker and the listener.

And the speaker, however good they are, if the audience is not receptive, the right words simply won’t flow. There will be a block.

Q: How do we deal with anger and hatred towards somebody whom we cannot avoid; especially when both are completely at different frequencies?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: First realize you are magnanimous. If you believe in your magnanimity and your inner beauty, it will become easier for you to handle all such situations. When you don’t look within, when you are simply focusing on the behavior of others, it will definitely rattle your mind. Then you try to correct the other person and you will be unsuccessful.

People who irritate you, in some way or the other can bring about the best in you. They can bring out the talents and skills in you. See, when everyone around you is wonderful you don’t need any skill to handle a situation. It will only happen when there are people whom you think are unreasonable. So it is an exercise, take it as an exercise as much as possible.

I know it is not an easy job. At least, you save your mind.

I have spoken a lot about this in the books Celebrating Silence and Celebrating Love, go over it.

The moment deep acceptance starts coming from within you will suddenly find the other person also changes. It is strange, but true. When we change, they also change.

Q: I do a lot for my family members and yet they are all always saying I am wrong. What should I do? How to deal with it?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: No, don’t say that they always say you are wrong. If they always say that you are wrong then it would not bother you or even touch you. You would take it as their nature. Sometimes they would have said that you did right as well. Isn’t that so?

If you can appreciate them when they say you are right, and when they appreciate you, you should also accept when they don’t appreciate what you are doing, and say that you say wrong.

You should find a middle path.

You know, often, we generalize and externalize the problem. ‘Oh, I am always wrong’, ‘Oh, I am always right’, ‘Oh, I am always like this’, ‘Everybody is bad.’ This sort of generalization and externalization of problems is very common. We should make an effort to step out of that and go beyond that. Just smile. If you feel that they are unreasonable in their comments and they are always criticizing you, just smile. Don’t be bothered about it at all. Educate and ignore, and walk your path.

What can you do? Every time you sit for meditation, someone comes and complains, ‘Why are you sitting and closing your eyes, it is useless, don’t do it’, never mind. When you wake up, smile, and sit again the next day and they will turn around.

Q: If love is our true nature then why does it feel so good to hurt someone when you have been hurt yourself? How do you stop yourself from retaliating against others?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Again, you should read Intimate Note to the Sincere Seeker. I have spoken in so many words on these issues.

Do you want the chain to continue? You hurt them, they hurt you and they retaliate. Do you like to be retaliated? I am asking you a question.

Unintentionally a mistake has happened through you. Suppose someone starts retaliating because you did something wrong. Whatever you said or did hurt them deeply, and you said sorry a hundred times. Still they want to retaliate and take revenge, what would be the state of your mind? How do you like it? Why don’t you get into the other person’s shoes and see for a minute? You wouldn’t want that. You would say, ‘No! I asked forgiveness. I asked to be pardoned.’

Just imagine if someone refuses to pardon you for small things which you did unintentionally or out of ignorance, would you like it? When you like to be forgiven, how come you don’t want to forgive?

And this, enjoying hurting others, is not the right thing. It is simply you wanting attention that is all. This you need to correct. This is our mind’s sickness. It is the sickness of our own mind being happy making someone miserable. What do you call it? Sadistic! Enjoying someone’s suffering makes you happy.

‘Look, you made me suffer and I make you suffer’, that type of joy is not for you, no! It appears to be a joy momentarily but it comes back to you a million times more, so don’t go for it. There are better ways of joy. When you forgive, see what big joy, what big comfort it brings to you.

When someone comes and apologizes, it is our magnanimity to say, ‘Oh, okay never mind.’ I tell you our magnanimity is in forgiving, and that is what we do.

But if they continue to do wrong, if they don’t respect your forgiveness, then take a stick. Then go, challenge them; go to court or whatever. But you should give ample chances for one to correct them self. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness; it should not be taken for granted. At the same time, not forgiving, doesn’t show or speak very good of you.

What do you think? Isn’t it?

Our company is something important. Our friends, our relatives can take us up and they can pull us down too. You also have to see, anyone who tends to go towards negativity, you should try to pull them up.

Q: How to cope with a troubled marriage, a marriage which has two kids? How to guide and give comfort to two young daughters who are caught in the middle of this marital issue?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You know when marriages break down you have to deal with the children’s psychology with care. Often parents pour all their grievances onto those young minds. They say bad things about their spouse so that the children remain closer to them. Don’t do that. Don’t say your father or your mother is very bad; this does not help in any way.

All that you should make them understand, both of you together is that, ‘We have chosen to go in our different roads but we both care for you.’ That is it.

It is a very delicate and very tricky situation, but it is a momentary one. You know this hard time will pass; you must know that. Just have patience and devotion. Your devotion, your meditation, your sadhana, all this will come to your help, okay?

Sometimes we will have to take the hard reality of life and not brood over it; and have a better vision. Also, give your children a bigger vision of the future. If you keep them engaged in something about the future they don’t go on chewing on the present bitter moment and take it too much to heart. So you should give them a vision of a better future, or talk to them about what they should do when they grow up, or what is needed for the country. As bigger challenges and bigger problems come in front of you, then the small individual personal bickering and issues lose their significance. That is the best way to handle this situation.

Q: What is the purpose of performing a long pooja as opposed to a short pooja.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Well, it is just like your daily meditations and your advance course with longer meditations. They all have their impact. Poojas don’t have to be too long, but these poojas are done for the masses. Not for one individual, but for the entire population.

Q: Why do we turn to the right side and not to the left side at the end of Kriya? I have asked this before, nobody gives an answer.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Oh, they are wise! They expect you to come for the Teacher’s Training Course (TTC), and Teacher’s Refresher Meet, that is where we discuss these things.

Those are the real secrets!

Secrets of Life..

Peace is the first step towards God

April 28, 2012

Bad Antogast, Germany

(Sri Sri says, looking through the questions in the question basket)

I am looking for a brilliant question to start with.

All questions are the same. In fact every question produces only one result when one hears the right answer.

When you hear the right answer, what do you say? ‘Yes, I agree’.

If it is not the right answer and you cannot say, ‘Yes I agree’, you will say, ‘No that is the wrong answer.’

But whenever you get the right answer what do you say? You say, ‘Yes.’

So, every answer is supposed to bring in the ‘Yes’ mind, if it is the correct answer. But if every answer creates more questions, then it is an endless journey.

In one way, it is good because it is an intellectual exercise, but beyond that it is nothing. Just some entertainment, that is all.

You use the intellect.

Use it fully, but also know that the intellect is not all that is.

The truth is beyond that; one step ahead of it.

But then, should there be no questions at all? No, it is necessary. Intellectual stimulation is essential. The intellect is a very important part. Even in the most ancient scripture, Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna gives all the knowledge and then finally says, ‘You think, discriminate and decide what is best for you’.

Then He says, ‘But remember one thing, I will only say what is good for you, and you will only pick up what I say.’

This dialogue between the student and the master is very interesting. Everyone should read it at least once in their life.

When the great scientists of the world, including Einstein, read it, they said that their lives were transformed because they had always been told not to ask questions. Religion and faith always meant don’t ask questions but blindly follow. But the Yoga Vedanta philosophy doesn't say that. It doesn't shun the intellect. It says, ‘You use the intellect. Use it fully, but also know that the intellect is not all that is. The truth is beyond that; one step ahead of it.’

So don't be stuck in the intellect but at the same time, definitely make the intellect shine. Devotion and love is going beyond the intellect by satisfying the intellect.

Q: Many people get the clarity in their mind from a young age of their passion to become doctors, engineers, teachers, etc., and they stick to it. Unfortunately I do not feel that way. I am not young anymore and this lack of direction scares me. What can I do?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: No, don't worry. Life is all designed.

If you don’t have the clarity of what you want to do, then meditate and go by your intuition.

I tell you, all professions are the same. People of no profession are happy. Look at doctors they are so miserable, because all their lives they have to be with sick people. For 15 hours a day they have to be with sick people and listen to all their problems, and even if they give them the solution they ask the same questions again. If you tell somebody that you have no sickness and you are fine, even then they get angry at you. So many doctors even when you are healthy have to say, ‘No, you are sick.’ This makes them happy. And you say that this doctor is the right doctor. He knows my problem and he has diagnosed it very well.

The plight of doctors is not easy; they cannot take days off and go somewhere. In the middle of the night they have to take calls. They usually have to guess and give medicines, and then they are nervous all night. These are the secrets of the profession. When you have a headache they can give you an aspirin, but not always do they know what to prescribe for all the problems. Sometimes they just have to guess.

Look at engineers. Working with machines day and night they become like machines. They have to. They say this, I'm not saying this. Engineers themselves say it. ‘Oh, it's so boring. All day and all night, machines, machines and machines.’ Even in their dreams they see machines.

If they work in a car factory, they see cars in their dreams. Cars that is moving without people in it.

Here, someone who was working at a car factory, he said, ‘Every night I dream of cars moving on the conveyor belt, or in a truck. There are no people in it!’

Lawyers; can't even ask them of their plight. They look for some problem to happen somewhere so they can survive. If everything is peaceful the lawyers have no survival. If a fight happens between two brothers, the lawyers are happy and they are smiling. ‘Well they can come to me and I can make some money.’ Fortunately they don't have to think much because there are already enough fights in the world and everyone has to come to them.

They say, ‘Come, I will solve your problem’. But it doesn't get solved very quickly. They will postpone it. No lawyer solves any case quickly. Why will they? The longer the case goes on, it is better for them. For every appearance they can bill the client. They are not that foolish to make the case go away just like that.

You take any profession there are flaws in it.

Religious people, it is an even bigger problem.

There is a nice story in the Ramayan, do you want to hear the story?

There was a stray dog that was walking on the street and someone threw a stone at the dog and chased it. So the dog went to court. It is said that in Lord Rama’s court, everyone got justice, even animals.

The dog said that the road is for everybody. He said, ‘It doesn't say anywhere on the road that dogs are not permitted here. I was walking on the road and this man hurt me; you should punish him.’ So Lord Rama asked the person if it was true. The person could not lie, and agreed that he had hurt the dog.

In those days, they used to ask the victims on what punishment should be given to the culprit.

So when the dog was asked on what punishment should be given to the man who hurt him with the stone, the dog said, ‘Make him the head of a religious institution. Make him a Guru of some Ashram.’

The people said that this is a very strange punishment.

The dog said, ‘Why are you asking? Just make him that. I was also a Guru in my past life, see what has happened! Then before dying, I thought that I should have been a stray dog that would have been better than being a Guru. See, that is why I have become a dog now. I had so much trouble. He too should become the head of an Ashram, and then he will experience what is trouble in life, and what is pain, and what is suffering.’

It is a very funny story in the Ramayan.

You don't have to become too greedy and you don't have to feel a sense of lack. We need to feel abundance in our mind, in our heart. Money is something which can never be enough.

Every job, every profession, every work on this planet is not easy. Every profession is tough. No work is easy. And being the head of a religious organization is even worse because you have to take care of everybody.

If you do not look at any person then that person will complain that you did not look at me. Yesterday, you made me sad. You have come to make everybody happy but in the process you have made somebody sad. When you look at them they are looking elsewhere, and then they want you to look at them when they look at you; or they will become unhappy! What to do? And technology has made it worse! Do you know how many e-mails I have received? About 101,000 in the last couple of weeks, and I have to go through them. Every week, about 10,000 e-mails come. Sometimes 8,000 and sometimes 2,000, it varies, but they all pile up.

So, do not worry about any profession. All professions are the same. Find some job to make your life livable. You don't have to become too greedy and you don't have to feel a sense of lack. We need to feel abundance in our mind, in our heart. Money is something which can never be enough.

If you see, even billionaires are also wondering how they can make their money grow by two-folds and three-folds. This race never ends. I was in Davos this year and all the multi-billionaires were there. Just look into their eyes and their faces, there is no fulfillment there, there is no joy or contentment, there is no serenity and there is no sense of elevation.

Do you see what I'm saying? You can find a smile in a small hut, but you might not find a smile in a palace. You might not even find a calm mind in a palace.

Q: How can we clear our bad karma? I feel so much self-judgment? How can I learn to love myself?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Lord Krishna says in the Bhagavad Gita that you cannot get rid of your karma. I will do that for you.

You just do your work and don't worry about your bad karma. That is what a Guru is there for. Don't worry about your cleansing or your own bad karma of the past. It will automatically go when you live in knowledge, when you are in Satsang, when you meditate and when you do Sudarshan Kriya.

Why do you do all these things? All these can erase your bad karma. What is bad karma? It is the bad impressions in your mind; in the consciousness. If you still feel something, you can say, ‘Guruji, I give these botherations to you, please take care of it.’ And it will all just go, okay!

Q: Why do you have so much compassion? Why do you not get angry at me knowing that I have repeatedly committed the same mistake and let you down. I feel disgusted with myself.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Don't worry. Don't sit and brood over the past.

You know when a child starts walking it falls many times. But it doesn't stop standing up just because it fell ten times. It keeps making the effort till it can stand up.

So I want to tell you that you are doing very well, just keep walking. At least you have the pain of the mistake; this will prevent you from doing it frequently.

Do you know why you do a mistake? Because you think that you are getting some joy out of it. Taking drugs, or alcohol or smoking is bad and injurious but still you do it, why? Because you feel that it is giving you some joy. In fact, it does not give you joy, it just promises you joy.

There is another story. A gentleman went to a market and got a conch blessed by a saint. It was a special conch, a mystic conch. You could ask it for anything and it would give that to you.

A friend of this gentleman saw the conch and got very enthused, and he also wanted such a conch.

Many times you want to get something, not because you need it, but just because someone else has got it. Your friend got it and so you also want to get it. Your friend got an Audi or Benz car and now you also want to get an Audi or Benz. What difference does it make? You just need a car to go? But since your friend got a bigger car you also want to get a better car.

So he went to the market to get a conch. The shopkeeper showed him a conch and said that the specialty of this conch is that, you can ask it anything and it will offer you double of it.

Suppose you want one car, the conch will say, 'Why only one, you can take two.'

Has anyone heard the story? No? You are not reading my books or listening to my tapes?!

So he got the conch and took it home. He asked the conch for one kilo of gold. The conch said, ‘Why one kilo, take two kilos.’

So he said, ‘Okay, give me two kilos.’

The conch said, ‘Why two kilos, take four kilos.’

So he said, ‘Okay give me four.’

The conch said, ‘Why four kilos, take eight.’

Then he said, ‘Okay, just give me eight, I don’t want anymore.’

The conch said, ‘Why eight, take sixteen.’

It just kept multiplying, but it didn't give anything.

‘Give me something’, he said, and it said, ‘Why just something, take many things.’

So that man pulled his ears and said, ‘Wow!’

This is exactly what habits do to you. Habits only promise you joy but never deliver the joy to you.

To get rid of bad habits you need one of these three things, i.e., love, fear or greed.

Deep love for something, or a promise to a loved one that you will not look that way, can pull you out of bad habits.

When the doctor tells you that if you take alcohol your liver will get damaged and you will die, you will not touch alcohol.

And if someone promises you that if you don't drink for 40 days, they will give you a million dollars, you will say, ’Why 40 days, I will do it for 45 days, just to be on the safe side.’

So greed, fear or love can pull you out of your bad habits.

My nature is to be compassionate. All these years, i.e., for about 56 years, I have not said one bad word to anybody. It is not an achievement. This body is made like that. I am made like that. I can never say bad words, even when I am upset. I can only say, ‘You stupid’, and nothing beyond that.

Even that I must have said only about seven to eight times; I can count them on my fingers.

It is not possible for me to swear, curse or blame somebody. I've never ever done that. Never hurt anybody from my side by any bad words, ever. But still if people have felt hurt then it is their problem, what can I do?

Q: The love of my life with whom I've been with for four years has told me that she is in love with someone else. She met him about five months ago. What should I do? I love her dearly and I don't want to lose her. She has asked me to wait for her while she makes up her mind. Should I wait or should I let go?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: I can understand your problem in one way. But in another way, I have no experience on this. So I can’t advise you.

All that I can say is take some time out and be silent. Think about your life, about how it was in the past.

When that person was not there in your life, even then you were happy? If that person had kindled some spark in you, made you experience some love, just thank her. In the future without her also your life will continue.

I tell you, you will only go up. If that person goes away, you will get a better person. This is for sure. Know that you are the centre, okay!

Don’t put your soul into the other person, keep it in yourself. And if that person comes back, fine, otherwise, move on.

This wisdom will help you not to have that love turn into hatred. Often people love somebody and that turns into such bitterness and hatred that it is unbelievable. So don’t let that happen.

If you love somebody, let go. If it is yours, it will come back to you. If it doesn’t come back, it never was yours. Know this and move on.

Q: I have grown up with the concept that God cannot be alive. Now I have met you in person and have heard all the beautiful knowledge, and it feels like I am meeting a living God.

But God cannot be alive. My mind does not understand. I know you are there through the knowledge and love, but I cannot embrace you fully while you are a person.

I can see, I can feel the Divine, it even hurts but I cannot understand. Please advice.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: God is love and love is God, and it is in every one of us. There is nothing that is not God because the whole creation is made up of love. So God is not a person. it is a field. If it is everywhere, it is in you as well.

If it is there at all times, it is there now and here.

You are correct; some people think God is somebody in heaven. He created everything and is now dead and gone. Like the way you sometimes do thanksgiving to the people who have died, you treat God as someone who has gone and thank him.

People don't understand; God is a living presence, alive right now and here. Only in the depth of silence you can experience this. When the mind is quiet and when you say, ‘I want nothing.’ All that is, is only You. With this feeling when you sit, that energy, that silence, the love, that is here and now, you experience it.

That is why when people went to Lord Buddha and asked him about God, he never said anything, he kept silent.

Lord Buddha never spoke about God. In his Satsang, this was one of the conditions that people should not ask him about God.

Peace is the first step towards God. 

Second is joy and happiness.

Third is love.

These are the three steps to the home of God

Eleven questions were forbidden there. One of that was God. Even if you asked, he would not answer, because people have concepts, and they think they know about God a lot. They think that they know and then they argue.

Best is to leave to God to Himself, He wants a break. He wants to rest a little bit.

In India, God is depicted to be resting on a serpent, happily, and creation goes on.

So I would say, be a good human being, and time to time be still and experience the inner peace. You will find the secret of secrets; the doors open to you, so naturally. And then you will realize that this is what people everywhere were talking about; this is what is written in all the scriptures. Bible, Koran or Vedas, everywhere they say the same thing. This is true, it is here, now, in me; that realization.

Again don’t think that one day some realization is going to happen. It is right now!

Be at peace. Peace is the first step towards God. Second is joy and happiness. Third is love. These are the three steps to the home of God.

Life has challenges, but wisdom equips you to face them

You should sing, dance and dwell in knowledge. Knowledge does not mean simply information, like you read books and get some information. That is not knowledge.

Knowledge is experiencing the reality the way it is. When knowledge becomes very strongly embedded in our consciousness, it is called wisdom. Wisdom is knowledge very well lodged in our self. That makes you wise.

Everybody has wisdom. Some may have a little and some may have more. It is only a matter of time that life takes you from a little wisdom to more wisdom.

Words appear very futile. Still, we use it sometimes since we need to use it. You go to a hospital and ask someone ‘How are you?’ You know they are not well, still you ask them, ‘How are you?’ And they say, ‘Fine’. They know they are not fine, still they say, ‘Fine’.

Similarly, I see you are all so happy and still I ask you, ‘How are you?’ I can see that there is so much happiness and radiance on your faces. It is just to engage on another level of communication.

The wise communicate first from the heart, from the being, and then engage in the outer level of communication, just to keep in touch. The ignorant rely on the outer communication. Between a mother and a child, whatever the child says is immaterial, because the child has not even learnt the language. But the mother communicates to the child from a deeper level.

Even before you learnt a language, you started communicating with your mother, and your mother started communicating with you. This is a deeper level of communication.

Similarly, when you communicate with your dogs or cats, you are doing it from a very subtle level, from a deeper level. It is not language. Later on, you try so much to put some language into its brain. They don’t require language. You just make a sound and they will come to you. You don’t have to say, ‘Come, come, come.’ Simply make any sound and they will come.

They don’t relate to you with language.

Similarly, the entire creation is relating to you; the trees, the breeze; all the creatures are communicating with you. There is a certain communication happening at a very subtle level, at a deeper level.

There is an old Sanskrit proverb that says, ’Vacarambhanarh Vikaro Naamadheya’, which means that words are a distortion of truth. There is already a communication that is happening. Through words you are distorting it a little bit.

I don’t mean that words should not be used. They are necessary. But underneath the words, there is that feeling that needs to be there. You can tell someone, ‘I love you so much!’ But underneath the words there should be that feeling. Don’t just say, ‘Oh, I love you so much’, on the surface level.

So, the wise always communicate on the subtle, and then they use words just to complement that. But the unwise rely only on the external communication. That is why misunderstandings crop up in life.

Why are there misunderstandings? It is because there is no inner connectivity. You say something and some others understand it differently.

You look back and see in your own life. You were judging, judging and judging. Thinking bad about that person and this person, and the anger was so intense. After some time, after a few months or a year later, you started laughing at yourself, ‘Oh, why did I worry so much! This was all nonsense. I was bothering myself unnecessarily.’

You should turn back and see. Then you will realize. Many times, we don’t even turn back and look.

The other day, a lady came to me saying, ‘Oh, my relationship is going very badly, and my boyfriend is so angry that he is leaving me and I am so upset’. She was crying and crying.

The same lady, after two months said, ‘Oh, it is good that it is finished. I was so blind. I was trapped by this guy. Now the relationship is not there anymore and I am happy’.

So, many times we don’t even know what we want, and what blessings we are asking for. That is why, time and again, not all the time; you must turn back and examine where the mind was and how it is moving.

Time and again, if you turn back and examine your mind, you will feel such a satisfaction and relief. One is a relief that you have learnt something from the past, and second, whatever happened has happened for some reason. It has made you richer, wiser and given you some depth. At least this understanding comes up in you.

What do you say? How many of you feel this way?

If we don’t turn back and look every once in a while at the events that have passed, we continue to make the same mistakes and we don’t learn.

In the Jain tradition, they say ‘Pratikraman’, which means going back, erasing those karmas and learning from it to move forward.

The Jain saints sit for hours together every day and introspect. In fact, they don’t need to do so much because they don’t do much.

Who should do it all the more are those who are engaged in a lot work and activity. They should sit for at least ten minutes a day and look back and see - what did I do? What did I learn in my life? How was today? What can I learn from what has happened?

Again, you don’t have to latch on to what you have learnt or hold on to it. Sometimes what you think you have learnt may not be correct at all. That is why being hollow and empty is so important. It breaks all the concepts and makes you free.

Q: Dear Guruji, is it good to donate our blood?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, it is good to donate. In 24 hours you can recuperate. Your body is a blood making machine. Donating blood will save lives.

Q: Dear Guruji, can you please speak about the palm leaf Nadi reading?

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: In ancient India, the Rishis used to have schools or universities in which they used to train psychics. Psychic means the one who can see into the future.

So, people would stay for twelve or thirteen years and meditate, go deep within and then the master would give them a task. He would say, ‘In 2015, on this particular day, at this particular minute, somebody will be born. Astrologically, you calculate and predict how their life will be.’

It involves two things – astrological calculation and an insight into space and time. So, this is what they used to do. However, since these were written by the students, it need not be hundred percent true. Students can make mistakes. They will be seventy to eighty percent correct. Some will not come true in the future too. That is a possibility.

Second thing is that they can only give you a possibility, saying this may happen. If you are a meditator and if you are on the path of spiritual knowledge, you keep changing your destiny, since you are bringing more positivity into your life.

I want to tell you what happened on the third of this month (April 2012). A monk from China had come. He is known as a very big clairvoyant. Two to three thousand people go to him every day. He called one of our organizers when I was in Indonesia and he said that he wanted to come and take blessings from Guruji. He said, ‘For enlightenment, there is no bar of any religion. I am a Buddhist, but it doesn’t matter. I know Guruji has come to this world and a lot of people will get benefited. I want to take his blessings. He has come after a long, long time; several thousand years. His blessing is something that I definitely need.’

He is a very nice person, a very nice soul. He just came, silently sat for some time, took blessings and went back on the next flight. One of the devotees, who was very inquisitive said, ‘You should predict and tell us what is going to happen with The Art of Living and Guruji’.

He said, ‘No, I cannot predict. I cannot predict about someone who is free. I can only predict if the mind is caught up. I cannot predict about one who has no mind’.

I also thought let me also hear what is going to happen.

He said, ‘Where there is no mind, there is only space, I cannot predict. Guruji is just space, I cannot predict him’.

If you chant, meditate and do pranayama, your free will increases, your freedom increases. You are not bound by certain events in life. They say, ‘You may come across these problems, so take precaution.’ It is like a doctor who says, ‘You have high cholesterol, you should take care and work out’. Similarly, if you have diabetes, you should be careful.

Their predictions are according to what medical problems you have, and they give you some remedies – if you do these things, you will have no problem.

In the same way, astrologers also say, ‘Oh, you are going to have Jupiter come into the eighth house and so your mind will go topsy turvy. All the faith will go. You will have no confidence in yourself, no faith in anybody, no faith in the work you do and you will be worried. This will continue for one whole year, but it will be too much during these four to five months. So, do your meditation, pranayama, prayers regularly and you can pass that stage. Also, don’t take any decisions at this time’.

So, these are little predictions about the tendencies of the mind and how it goes.

Q: My question is, how do I know what am I on the planet for? What kind of job should I do? I feel so confused sometimes. I have a lot of talents but then I feel so insecure of my capabilities. Now I am thinking, ‘Who is asking this question?’ Again, I don’t know.

I am fed up with this not knowing.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Now, if I answer something, you will also wonder, ‘Who is listening?’

Don’t go on examining yourself too much. This can become an obsession. All the time thinking, ‘Who is asking? Who is witnessing? If I am witnessing then who is this I? Who is speaking?’

This self-enquiry is good. Self-enquiry is needed, but if it is over done, it can leave you in a lot of unnecessary confusion and restlessness. It should only be done when you sit in the course, or when you take some time off. Then, you can ask, ‘Who am I? What is this universe?’

Self-enquiry cannot go on for 24 hours. Otherwise you will not be able to function at all in the world, or do any work.

It is like bathing. You cannot take a shower for 24 hours. Then you will have to be a fish in the water! So, if you keep on enquiring and examining yourself at every step, you will be like a fish out of water.

Do your work. What work you do is not important. You do any work because you have to sustain your life. For sustenance of your life do any work, whatever work that pays well.

Now, you must know that work is separate, your seva (service) is separate and your entertainment or hobby is separate. If you try to make all of them into one, it will be a challenge. If you want to make your work a hobby, that is what many people do and they get fired!

If you want to make your entertainment as your work, then you cannot make enough money, and all the time you will be in a sense of lack. You will feel the dearth for money. So, you must have the decision and discrimination.

When you have responsibilities in life, you have a family to take care, children to take care, choose a job, which is stable and which gives you enough money and time. Once that is done, don’t think about it again. But if you find something better, you can go for that, no problem.

Then, take some time off and do social work. If you are spending your whole life in just earning your bread and butter, life will be so meaningless, so worthless.

What will you do? Earn, earn, earn and then you buy an Audi or a Benz car. Then you make a house and buy jewelry and that is it! This will not give you satisfaction. Take some time off and do some social work. Come and be a part of The Art of Living family.

Alone, you cannot accomplish much. Ten or fifteen of you make a group and take a project. There are children who need your help. If you cannot give time, keep a box at home and put a few Euros, whatever you can, in it. That can support a social cause. So many people from Germany and other countries in Europe are supporting schools. We are running 185 schools in India now. Around 25,000 kids are getting good food, good education, and medical help because of people donating one Euro a day.

Like that, you engage in some social activity. That gives you some satisfaction, ‘Oh, I am supporting this cause. I am part of a project.’

If you can run one project, it is good. If you can’t run, you can at least be a part of it. You can be a brick in the building. Contribute towards one brick. That will bring you satisfaction.

Then, take time off, like you have taken time off now (referring to the course participants) to meditate and uplift your spirit. When you go back, you feel fully charged. How many of you feel so charged when you go back? You have this experience.

At least twice a year, it is good to do a mental rejuvenation and rejuvenation of the spirit. It is very important.

You do this and after some time, forty, fifty or sixty years, retire and then come and go totally into knowledge. Then dedicate yourself to the cause of higher knowledge, higher wisdom or for social causes. Do some good work in society. And then life will be gone! One day you will be gone (snapping his fingers), you will not even know! Others will make arrangements to take the body away. Done! Finished!

One day, they will do a memorial service (folding his hands) saying, ‘May his soul rest in peace.’ You are already at peace by then! Their wish comes much later.

Once we leave the body after that we are at peace, then that is no fun. We have to be at peace while we are alive and be useful to people around us. What do you say? Isn’t it?

That is what wisdom is. Wisdom brings happiness to you now and here.

I don’t say, ‘You do something for ten days or ten years and then one day you will be happy.’

Is it that way? No.

We have two weapons – So Hum and So What. Everything changes. Everything is changing in the world. Friends become enemies and enemies become friends. This is what happens in this world. Doesn’t it happen?

People who say, ‘I cannot live without you’, later say, ‘I cannot stand you!’

This happens so often. Not once, but twice, thrice, four times.

There was a lady who was giving a seminar on how to make love work. That lady was divorced seven times! I said, ‘That lady is very much qualified because she has gained knowledge seven times on how it didn’t work and now she can share it!’

See, when we go in search of friends in the world, we find that we don’t get a good friend. But, when you search inside, make friends with your own higher self, with your inner spirit, you find that friendliness comes out of you naturally.

When you are friendly, the whole world becomes your friend. Everybody turns to you. Even your worst enemies become your friends in front of you. When they go away from you, they may think you are their enemy.

From your heart, you don’t encourage animosity with anybody. That is my policy. From my side, I have no enemies.

When I was a little kid, I learnt a Sanskrit verse from the Vedas, which says, ‘Ajatashatru ajaraswarvarti’. It means, ‘I will never become old because I am dwelling in myself.’

I was about ten or twelve years old. Out of ten thousand verses, this caught me.

If you dwell in yourself, you never age, but you remain. Aging means, getting tired, unenthusiastic, appearing as if everything is no good, hopeless; a negative commentary in the mind saying, ‘Oh, I know it all. I have seen it all’ – this sort of attitude. No freshness, no aliveness.

Ajara means not getting worn out or not becoming old. You know, there are old people who are so enthusiastic and so active.

I was in Taiwan and we had a big satsang with about 8000 people in the stadium. People were so happy. After that, when I came back to my place, an 80 year old gentleman came. He was all enthusiastic. He said, ‘This is so great! I want to do some work. I want to spread this knowledge. There are so many millions of people suffering from cancer and other diseases in Mainland China. Guruji, I want to take you to Mainland China. I will organize it and I will do this.’ He is above 80 years old and he is ready to travel anywhere. He looks fragile but his spirit is so high! He brought his friend along, who was of the same age. They said ‘We are your soldiers!’ They are seeing me for the first time.

Similarly, in Japan, an elderly man of about 78 years was so full of enthusiasm. He organized a talk for me and called many people. He didn’t say, ‘Oh, I am old, I cannot do anything.’ No, nothing of that sort, but instead he is so high spirited.

He declared, ‘The whole of Japan needs this knowledge.’ He is a very well accomplished gentleman.

Thirty thousand people commit suicide in Japan every year. It is huge. Today, what is needed is a wave of happiness. The GDP is quite high in Japan. You have to spend fifty dollars just in toll tax when you go from the airport to your home. Can you imagine? You make a trip twice and you have already spent two hundred dollars. You go to the airport to pick someone up and then drop them and you spend a hundred dollars. The distance is so much. Living is very expensive there. Americans find it very expensive to live in Japan. People earn money but there is no happiness.

It is not just Japan. Many countries in the world today are in this syndrome, no happiness. They don’t smile, they don’t laugh, and they are not at peace with themselves. We need to create a wave of happiness and that is possible only through wisdom, only through knowledge, only through expanding one’s vision about life. That is what The Art of Living is.

The Art of Living is not a dogma. It is not a set of concepts or just some practices. The Art of Living is expanding one’s vision towards life and making life a celebration. That is the main aim of The Art of Living.

There is a Sanskrit verse that says, ‘The real worship of God is to create happiness in the hearts of men’.

Yena Kena Prakarena Yasya Kasyaapi Dehinah,Santosham Janayet Praagya Tadeveshwarapujanam - Happiness in the hearts of people is the real worship of the divine.

What great wisdom, such nice words have been said in the past. That is why it is timeless wisdom.

You don’t even know who wrote it. They didn’t even put their signature, but they gave these gems for life. That is The Art of Living; honoring the ancient tradition, looking at the modern science in the future, and taking both of them together.

Science and spirituality are never in conflict. They go together. Religion and science have been in conflict since a long time, but not spirituality, the experiential part. That’s why I say that we should look with a scientific mind and an ancient heart; a new mind and a loving heart.

We need this. Don’t you think so?

The world is so interesting, I tell you! So, be in this world, enjoy this world yet not getting caught up or drowned in it. Keep yourself a little aloof. Keep yourself untouched by the external (events). Save your soul, save your mind, save your spirit and save your joy. Don’t let it get muddled up by the events in the world. Are you getting what I am saying?

Don’t let others or any events take away your freedom, take away your joy and your inner peace. This is The Art of Living.

It is a big task. It is a challenge. It is not too easy. I am not saying that it is very easy. It is not flowery-flowery, buttery-buttery, no! Life is not flowery, not buttery, I tell you. There are so many challenges, but the wisdom or knowledge equips you to face the challenges.

The difficulty is when you think life should not have challenges. Then challenges will appear much bigger to you. Life has challenges, but wisdom equips you to face them.