How many of you feel that without you doing any bad, you have gained enemies?
People become your enemies. You have not done any harm to them, any wrong to them and still they become enemies.
Similarly, you have not done any big favors to some people but they became your very good friends. Isn’t it?
How many of you have this experience?
See, this is it, people become friends and enemies by some strange karma, some strange law. There is some strange law due to which suddenly friends become enemies and enemies become good friends.
So, put all the friends and enemies in one basket and become free.
When you make a decision,
somewhere you get the gut
feeling that says, ‘Yes, this
is correct.'
One thing you should know
is that even if you take a
wrong decision, it always
leads you to growth.
See, what bothers your mind is either your friends, or your enemies. Isn’t that so?
When you sit for meditation, you should keep them all aside, your friends, enemies and everybody, put them one side, sit, relax, and become free.
What do you say? Isn't that correct?!
When your mind is satisfied, when it is quiet and happy, it gains a very peculiar power, i.e., the power to bless.
When you are happy and contented, you are able to give blessing to others.
If your mind is agitated and you have a lot of desires then you cannot give blessings. Even if you give blessings, it does not work that well. So, time and again, we must see to it that we have contentment.
When you are contented, not only your desires, but you can fulfill the desires of others as well.
Q: How do I know if I am making the correct decision?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: When you make a decision, somewhere you get the gut feeling that says, ‘Yes, this is correct.'
One thing you should know is that even if you take a wrong decision, it always leads you to growth. You become stronger, you learn a lesson somewhere deep inside. So that is why, don’t worry.
Q: Please speak about compassion.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: In life there are three things which are essential:
1. Passion
2. Dispassion, and
3. Compassion
Passion is like breathing in, and Dispassion is like breathing out. No one can say, ‘I want to only breathe in, I don’t want to breathe out.' Impossible! So breathing in is essential, and that is Passion, for things in life. Then, there is also a need for Dispassion. Dispassion means the ability to just let go of everything. Dispassion brings you relief and then Compassion becomes your nature. So you must have Passion when you do work, Dispassion when you want to rest, and Compassion as your very nature. That is it!
Q: Please talk about Reciprocity.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Reciprocity is very natural.
At a higher state of mind, reciprocity is instantaneous. Only when someone is not sensitive there is no reciprocity.
Often people reciprocate the bad things. If you blame somebody, they are ready to blame you immediately. If you insult somebody, they insult you immediately, but it is not the same for the good.
If you do something good, not everybody think they should reciprocate the goodness. That happens only when the mind is at a higher state.
Often people reciprocate
the bad things. If you blame
somebody, they are ready
to blame you immediately.
But it is not the same for the
good. If you do something
good, not everybody think
they should reciprocate the
goodness. That happens only
when the mind is at a higher
state.
Q: I am going through a separation. My wife and I have chosen different paths and live different lives. We both want our child to be with each of us. In this situation, what is the wisest thing to do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: The child should be exposed to both paths, and allowed to choose.
If there is no understanding between the couple, it is definitely a strain on the child.
What both parents should keep in mind is that they should not go on blaming each other in front of the child. Putting the child against one of the parents is no good. That is a very narrow minded approach.
Q: Gurudev, sometimes what make me happy conflicts with the expectations of my family and friends. In that case what do I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, you need to balance both.
Balance between your search for happiness and the expectation of others from you.
It is a little delicate but you should definitely make an effort.
Q: Dear Gurudev, I sometimes feel I am very arrogant. How do I get rid of this arrogance. I have done The Art of Living Course and I am doing my practices.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: One thing you must notice, before also you used to be arrogant, but you were not aware of it. But now at least you have become aware that you are being arrogant. That awareness is there, 'Oh, this is happening.'
It is good to have this awareness. This is the first step to get out of it.
Second step is to have a broader vision of your own life.
The more and more you steep into knowledge, you will see that all these little games that the mind plays is like a child playing. Once you see this, you will not mind it, and so you accept it and move beyond it.
When you see that the mind is like a small child playing, you will see it from a bigger background, a bigger perspective.
Q: What is the need for meditation and relaxation?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: When you relax, the mind expands.
Have you noticed when you are happy what happens? Something inside you starts expanding.
And when you are unhappy what happens? Something inside you starts shrinking.
So when you relax the body, then the mind starts blossoming.
Q: Please tell us what is death?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There is no need to define death. It is an obvious phenomenon. We are born and we are going to die one day.
When we came to this world, the first thing we did was we took a deep breath in, and then we started crying. And the last thing we will do in this life is breathe out, and then others will cry.
If we don’t make others cry, then we have not lived a good life.
Balance between your
search for happiness and
the expectation of others
from you. It is a little
delicate but you should
definitely make an effort.
When the soul leaves the body with full contentment, with a lot of love and wisdom, then it is not compelled to come back. It can come back on its own will.
Q: Please let us know what is the biggest limitation for human beings?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Body has limitation, mind has limitation, but the spirit has no limitation.
When you think you are the body then you have limitation. Then you can do only that much.
When you think you are the mind, mind also has some limitation. But your love has no limitation. Your consciousness has no limitation.
See, how with one small cell phone, you can reach the whole world. You can reach any number of phone numbers with one call phone, isn’t it?
Similarly, our mind which invented the cell phone is much more powerful than the cell phone itself. You only need to make it available.
Our country is a land of Rishi (Saints) and Krishi (Agriculture). Irrespective of the pooja (worship), we first perform ‘Beeja Vaapana’ (sowing seeds in small clay pots) and ‘Ankurarpana’ (spraying water and milk over the seedlings). Life and pooja are not different. Our life is a pooja. Wherever we walk, it becomes a Pradakshina (circumambulation). We should have this attitude towards life. There should be purity in life. When there is purity, the mind will be strong, the intellect will be sharp and there will be enthusiasm in life. So, even to sow a seed into the earth, they used to look for the right time. They used to sow the seed with devotion.
Also, our elders used to fold their hands and pray ‘Annadata Sukhibhava’ before eating food. This means - Let the one who has provided me food be happy. We must all do this. Will you all do this daily? The first person responsible for providing us food is the farmer. The merchants come next. The third are the women of the house. Farmers grow the grains. The merchants ensure that these grains are supplied to us and the women of the house, the mothers, cook the food and serve it to us. We pray that all these three should be happy. Even if one of them is sad, our lives will also be affected. The farmers produce a good crop, but if the merchants and distributors do not give the right price to the farmers or plan the distribution well, they are doing a big mistake. The farmers should ensure that they do not poison the land and water with chemicals. We must never go for Genetically Modified (G.M) crops. We must do organic farming. A lot of people are now doing Zero Budget farming. Farmers pay money to buy the seeds and then poison them with pesticides. If we stop doing that, and instead follow the ancient methods of agriculture, the farmers will be happy. If the merchants do their business without being greedy, they will also be happy. And, if the women in the house are happy and serve us food, our digestion will be good. If they shed tears and cook the food, we will have to shed tears to digest it. We will get body aches, headaches, stomach pains and various diseases. So, to ensure that all the three are happy, we have to pray ‘Annadata Sukhibhava’. Chant this daily before eating food.
You don’t have to choose a Guru. The Guru Tattva is present in every good thing you learn in life, and wherever you learn it from. In each phase of life, the presence of a Guru will be there.
Now, what is the sign of an intelligent person? The sign of intelligent people is that they bring out good qualities even in the worst of people. Good qualities are hidden in every person. Intelligent people bring out good qualities from criminals too. They tell him, ‘Forget everything that you did in the past. From now on, see the goodness in yourself. There is goodness in you.’ They attempt to pull him up. The sign of foolish people is that they pull people down. They search for bad qualities even in good people. They find faults in everyone. How do you distinguish between good friends and bad friends? A good friend is the one with whom you share your botherations and they will make you feel that your botherations are very small. If they fill you with cheerfulness and enthusiasm after you speak to them then they are your true friends. However, if someone makes you feel that your troubles have increased after speaking to them, they are not good friends. We must examine if we fill people with enthusiasm or pull them down. We do this without knowing. We must focus on these aspects. I have good news for you. One thousand militants in Assam did the Art of Living course and have surrendered. They will come here (to the Bangalore ashram) for training. The Home ministry is sending them here.
Q: How do we come out of bad habits? These impressions keep coming to us again and again. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: To come out of bad habits, do more pranayama. It also depends on the people we spend time with. If you have too much free time, bad habits come to your mind. If you engage yourself in serving the society, these bad habits will go by themselves.
Q: Is taking ‘Guru Diksha’ compulsory before choosing a Guru? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You don’t have to choose a Guru. The Guru Tattva is present in every good thing you learn in life, and wherever you learn it from. Mother is your first Guru. As you grow older, there will be teachers who provide you education. Similarly, in each phase of life, the presence of a Guru will be there. The Guru Tattva is always present. So whenever our mind feels that something would help us grow in life, it means that the Guru Tattva is present.
Q: It is said that we should not do any pooja during ‘Rahu kaal’. However, why does Sunday’s satsang always happen during Rahu kaal at the ashram? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: It is not said that we should not do pooja during Rahu kaal. In fact, it is good to do pooja during Rahu kaala. However, marriages and house-warming ceremonies must not be done during this time. It has only been said that one should not do any materialistic work during this time; not that one should not remember God or do satsang. Doing satsang is good during Rahu kaal. It is good to do satsang during an eclipse and during Rahu kaal. To do satsang, all times are auspicious. To help others and to remember God, we need not look for any auspicious time. All the twenty-four hours are good for this.
Q: Is the protection of good people the duty of police or the citizens? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: It is the duty of every human being. You should really appreciate policemen. When I was in Jharkhand, the Inspector General (I.G) of Jharkhand had come to see me. There were tears in his eyes. He said, ‘Guruji, I lost two hundred of my men in the past year. When I recruit more policemen, I cannot face their families since I do not know what will happen to my men tomorrow due to the Naxalite problem.’ Policemen are good people. They are sacrificing their life and time. They cannot celebrate festivals. They have to be on duty; night or day. Their personal lives are very troubled. They are doing their duty, but it is a thankless job. People as well as politicians scold the policemen. They are caught in between, but I tell you, you should also see that they are protecting the law and order. However, usually, when someone says ‘policeman’, it means they are bad. We should not think like that. We should be grateful to them for the thankless job that they are doing. I have been hearing the problems of policemen from the last fifteen years. They have to do good work as well as they get scolded by everyone. So, we must not think of policemen as someone separate from us. They are one of us. Though they experience so many hardships in life, they still work to protect us. We must be thankful for that and not criticize them.
A good friend is the one with whom you share your botherations and they will make you feel that your botherations are very small. If someone makes you feel that your troubles have increased after speaking to them, they are not good friends.
Q: What is the distance between the feet of a mother and the feet of a Guru? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There could be some selfishness in a mother, but not in a Guru.
Q: There are twelve Jyotirlingas in our country. Please tell us their significance. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: To unite our country, Jyotirlingas have been established in different places. This way people will go to all these different places and when they travel through the country then they realize that our country is one.
Q: Guruji, you say that meditation brightens our destiny. How is it possible? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Meditation makes your vibrations positive. The more positive your vibrations are the more luck there is in your life. It is natural.
Q: There is a lot of confusion in life. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Give it some time. Confusion will go away automatically. When our mind is confused, we will feel that all our decisions are wrong. We feel that we should have done some this else.
Q: How do we overcome the ego? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Be natural. Be friendly with everyone. If we are natural, ego disappears automatically. Ego is building an artificial wall between others and ourselves and thinking that whatever we say is right. This harms us as well as others. If we are natural and feel that everyone belongs to us and have openness in our attitude, there will not be any kind of pressure on our mind. The mind feels light. That is why we have to be natural like a child. This brings ‘Karya siddhi’ (perfection in action). Whatever we desire gets fulfilled automatically.
Q: I have done my M.Tech (Master of Technology) in Biotechnology. I am interested in the business of Organic farming. How do I take up Organic farming as an occupation? Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There is a lot of demand for this nowadays. If there is proper distribution of the organic farming produce, it will help. That is why we have opened ‘Sri Sri Institute of Agricultural Sciences’. Speak to them. We can definitely do something about it.
This whole creation is made up of one energy. Everything is made up of just one thing.
Whenever anything bothers you, if you come back to this one principle - there is only one energy which everything is made up of, so there are a lot of possibilities; that brings great relief. Are you getting what I’m saying?
There are three types of intellect.
One is an intellect which is dormant or doesn’t function at all; sleepy, in slumber and only into negativity. This is Tamasic Intellect.
Then is Rajasic Intellect. Most people have a rajasic intellect. Everyone functions with a rajasic intellect.
Rajasic intellect means seeing everything as different – This person is different, that person is different, this person behaves that way, that lady behaves this way; dwelling on these differences. Thinking there are so many people, so many personalities, and seeing that as reality. Doing this sometimes you go very high and sometimes you go down. This is rajasic intellect.
Then there is Sattvic Intellect, which is the goal of evolution.
Sattvic intellect sees there is only one thing that is underlying all other differences. That is the reality.
There is one underlying truth. That one thing has come up in so many forms.
Let me give you an example. Have you seen a puppet show?
A rajasic intellect is seeing all the puppets as different characters. A sattvic intellect says, 'There is only one person who is making all these dolls dance.' Actually it is a Mono Act.
One person who is behind the curtain, is making with his ten fingers all these different stories happen on the screen and is making them dance.
Have you seen those puppet shows? They tie one thread to each of the ten fingers and they make all the puppets run around.
So a sattvic intellect is seeing that there is one thing, one truth, one reality, one consciousness that is underneath the whole creation. When this truth is well lodged in the mind though you see the differences, dwell in differences, you will be unshaken.
A house that has a very good foundation does not collapse in an earthquake. It has a shock absorber. A real shock absorber is deep inside knowing that all this is made up of one consciousness.
All of matter is one consciousness. I am that one consciousness and everything is that one consciousness. One who knows this is free. It is called freedom. ‘I’m so free. Nothing bothers me.’
Look at those who have more problems than you and you will find your problem is nothing.
The world is all problems. Who does not have problems? That is why I say, don’t look for any perfection here, this world is imperfect. Whatever perfection you can bring in the world, bring it, and then wash your hands and enjoy yourself.
You know in 30 years of The Art of Living we didn’t have any big controversies. We were much respected, a very smooth organization throughout the world. Recently a controversy happened and all the media and all the top politicians, everybody commented on my one statement.
So some of our teachers and volunteers, they were all so nervous. ‘Why did this happen. Oh my god, this is negative publicity’, and this and that.
I said, ‘Let it be.’
I had given a statement that the government should not run schools. If you see, no violent students come out of schools that are run by NGOs, or missionaries, or spiritual organizations. Violence is learnt only in the government schools. See none of the Ministers of the government send their children to government schools. They all send their children to private schools. So when I said this, it was like a bombshell.
I said it in a meeting where I had gone for the Silver Jubilee Celebrations of that institute, some particular organization.
So immediately our ABC (Art of Living Bureau of Communication) department called me, at 10’oclock at night and said, ‘Guruji this channel is asking us about this, what we should say?’
I said, ‘Let there be controversy, don’t worry. Don’t give any answer and don’t say anything.’
See, because of this controversy what happened? There was debate on national television on many channels – Was Sri Sri fair to Government Schools? He should not have made this comment, he should apologize; and this and that.
Many people were watching, some for and some against.
And they invited our people as well. Our teachers went and they sat and they spoke about all the work that we have done. The nation came to know of all the good work we have done, otherwise there was no chance.
That we run 185 free schools, all this could be aired on television. So what appeared to be a negative thing for a day or two, turned out to be in our favor.
Why I am saying this is because on the surface things look different but underneath they are different. So don’t be perplexed. Don’t be shaken. With calmness and serenity, know that everything is made up of one thing, and that one thing is what I am, and what everything is.
If this knowledge it is extremely difficult to catch now, I tell you, it is not impossible. No doubt, when you sit in satsang, yes, it appeals to you, it strikes a chord, but then you go out there into the kitchen and it is all changed. You go back home and even worse. ‘What is this everything is one? I am in trouble now. That person does not listen to me. And this other person is complaining about me’, and blah, blah, blah. But it is not impossible.
The sattvic intelligence, sattvic intellect, when it dawns, that is called Sattva Shudhi. When the pure intellect dawns in you, it brings enormous freedom from inside; freedom from physical garbage, freedom from emotional garbage and freedom from conceptual garbage.
We create so much garbage in our head. We assume people’s nature to be like this or like that when it may not be so. And we assume people to act or react in a particular way. Why should that be so?
Life has many surprises for you. Sometimes you think someone is a very good friend of yours, and suddenly you turn around and see that very friend is creating a lot of trouble to you. How many of you have had this experience? (Many raise their hands)
(Sri Sri responds laughing) Look at this.
Because it is one consciousness which turns the whole wheel, turns the whole universe.
One who experiences this in the heart and feels it in oneself, says, ‘Aah! Freedom! Now I don’t have to sit and think about this person, and that guy, and that lady, and that person.’
All of this occupies your head. That does not have to happen. Everything is one consciousness. Everybody is part of the finger of one little doll, jumping up and down, acting this way and that way, and their karma make them all act.
Doesn’t this knowledge bring freedom? Enormous freedom!
So what type of freedom does it bring? It brings freedom from the cravings, it brings freedom from aversions. When you know this, on the physical level all the cravings for alcohol, drugs, and all these sorts of unhealthy bondages we have created in our own mind will just drop out.
Then emotional garbage – That person looked at me and that person did not look at me. I love her and she did not respond to me. Before, they were loving towards me but now what happened to all of them – all these things will not happen. This emotional garbage that we harbor in our head, trying to prove our love and asking for proof for someone else’s love, all this will drop off.
Then conceptual garbage. Huge volumes are written; so many books are written, all on concepts. It is like a person who has never seen an elephant is writing volumes about an elephant.
Just imagine, there was not even television, one has only seen a picture of an elephant, a hand drawn sketch and they are writing a thesis on elephants, its behavior and how it should be handled. This is exactly the situation. People who have the least understanding about consciousness are writing books and books and volumes, and they become bestsellers also! This is the funniest part of it.
So you get that freedom from conceptual garbage – Listening to this person, that person and that person, no! Everything is made up of one thing.
Isn’t that beautiful? Very nice!
Q: Dear Guruji, you have said that past and future happen in the present moment. That time is not linear as we think. I have been contemplating on this and I am a bit confused. Can you please expand on this?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Only a bit confused? You should be thoroughly confused. (Laughter) That is my job – to thoroughly confuse you.
Future plans are now in the present, right. They are in this moment only. Past worries are in this moment only. Only this moment exists. The entire past, the entire future, all exist in this moment only.
Who said you are weak? You are the sun, how can you be weak? Come on, wake up!
Don’t label yourself as weak. It is like a lion putting a sticker on its head saying, 'I am a lamb', nobody will believe that. However your past is, just kick that and be in the present moment and move on.
Q: What did you mean when you said in Ashtavakra Gita that it takes 84 lifetimes for the mind to form?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: That is correct, 84 different lifetimes.
Yes, there are so many bodies, out of that you have crossed many of them and arrived here, now. It could also be the 84th one only.
Q: Why do some people seek God realization and others don’t care about it?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Why do Maple trees grow only here and not in Florida?
Q: Why is there so much poverty in the world?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: So that you can feel for it and do something about it. If there are no opposites, you cannot even know them.
Because there is sickness there is value for health. Because there is poverty, wealth has some value. Right? Opposite values co-exist and they are complimentary. I’m not advocating poverty here, don’t misquote me.
Q: My husband fears that if I do not accept Christ as my savior I will not be in heaven with him. His Catholicism is strong. I wonder if we will ever be in the same heaven.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: For your sake don’t argue with him and create hell here now. Tell him, ‘Yes absolutely, I’m making a short-cut to go to the same heaven. That is all. And Jesus asked me to do all this and I’m doing exactly what he has said.’ Tell him this.
Q: Dear Guruji, the girl I like runs away from me. What to do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There must be something seriously wrong with the way you are expressing your love to her. Your love is so intense and you must be expressing it so hard.
You see, if you are standing under a shower and the jet is too strong, definitely people will have to move away from there. Do you see that?
Just imagine, you are standing under a shower and the shower is so strong that it is like hitting and pulling all your hair out. You wouldn’t like to stand under that shower, it is so painful.
So, see that you express your love softly, gently and not too much. Sometimes too much expression of love can be stifling. And that is perhaps what is happening.
It is good that you are in the silence program. In silence just re-evaluate.
Q: Why do we rest after meditation? Meditation itself is rest.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, sometimes if there are some incomplete experiences or stress release your body may want to lie down and experience some rest. See with every meditation there is such a transformation that is happening inside. There are some changes that are happening, and it is good to have a little rest if the body needs rest.
It is not a compulsory, not that everybody must lie down and rest. But if the body requires it, then you rest. That is why we have always said, ‘If you feel like resting you may lie down and rest.’ Every instruction is measured and given properly. Otherwise we would have said, ‘Everyone lie down and rest.’
It is not an order, it is if you feel like resting you may just stretch and lie down and rest, and it does good. It is good for circulation and it brings more relaxation.
Q: What question do you wish people would ask more often?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: ‘Should I even ask this question to Guruji?’ That would be a good question to ask.
Q: Guruji, what to do if it is the tendency of my mind to step into negativity? It is a pattern for me. I want to be free and more positive. I am very weak at the moment.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Who said you are weak? You are the sun, how can you be weak? Come on, wake up! Don’t label yourself as weak.
It is like a lion putting a sticker on its head saying I am a lamb, nobody will believe that. A lion goes around saying, ‘I am a lamb, I am a sheep.’ This is what you are doing.
Come on! Throw your label out. Never ever say that you are weak. However your past is, just kick that and be in the present moment and move on. Never mind if you fall ten times or a 100 times; I don’t mind, but keep walking. Get up and run, if you fall never mind, get up and run again. This is what a saadhak is; this is what a seeker is.
See, as a child how many times you have fallen before you could stand up on your legs. You were crawling and crawling and trying to get up and you fell so many times, but finally you started walking. That is it, same thing. But never say, ‘I have fallen ten times, I can never stand up. I am going to walk like a cat with two legs and two hands. I can never stand up.’ It does not make sense. You are a bird, you may fall, but you have wings. Wake up and continue to fly.
Being here for a week and feeling a connection with spirituality, and a master and the tradition and saying, ‘I am weak’, is not acceptable at all, it is an ignorant statement.
Q: What is the purpose of marriage?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: You are asking the wrong person. Ask those who are married, ask them this question.
I would say, it is an important institution. And if you want to have children, then definitely you should get married and have children and give them a good education right from the beginning.
And marriage is an institution where you melt and tell your partner, ‘All my desires I give it to you and I take all your desires from you.’ You exchange all your desires, so each one has the responsibility to fulfill the others desires and not their own. A devotee gives his desires to God. ‘These are my desires. It is not my job, you fulfill this. I am free. I give away my desires to you.’ When you give away your desires, it does not bother you. In the same way, in a marriage, a husband says, ‘All my desires I give to you and I am free from desire. I will only do what you want.’ And the wife says the same thing, ‘My desires I have given away to you. I will only do what you want.’
So, each of them gets committed to doing what other wants. It is a sacrifice of your own will and desire with the faith that the other cares for you.
There is a very small story about two Japanese travelers in a boat. A newlywed couple was in a boat. They were going for their honeymoon and then suddenly the boat was rocking and there was big storm. So the lady got perturbed but the man was very calm and just smiling as usual. The lady asked him, ‘I am so nervous and so afraid that this boat may capsize but you are so calm. You are not bothered we may drown and die.’
Suddenly, he took out his dagger and put it on her neck, but then she started laughing and said, ‘Is this the time to play? Come on, think about our future. This is not the time to tease.’
He said, ‘Why are you not scared? I am putting a dagger to your neck. I am going to kill you.’
She laughed, ‘When the dagger is in your hand why should I be worried? I know you won’t do any harm to me.’
He said, ‘I have the same relation with nature and with God. When my life is in his hands, he won’t let me die in a storm like this. He won’t let me down. I am not afraid because the strings of my life are in his hands. So why should I worry?’
That very moment she also turned very spiritual, and as the story goes the sea calmed down immediately. The sea calmed and both of them became prayerful.
Faith comes to play only at time of crisis, and the funniest thing is, at the time of crisis the first thing one loses is faith. When it is most needed that is when people lose faith. That is why even faith is a gift. It is not your making.
Nobody can say, ‘I believe so much, but why did this happen to me now?’
What big thing you did? The faith was given to you. It is like you were given a boat and you were given an oar also. Boat is given to you and the oar is also given to you. So even faith is not something you cultivated, but it was most needed at those times of crisis. Even that is a gift. It is a very, very, very important thing to notice.
So now comes, ‘Then what?’ Then nothing!
‘How do I increase my faith?’ Nothing, relax. You can’t do anything. All that I am saying is to take away the doership from you. Again you ask, ‘How do I drop my doership?’
This is the silliest question people ask, ‘How do I drop the doership?’ You are not the doer my dear, I am telling you.
First of all, there should be doership for you to drop it. You are not even the doer, yes! So there is no way, none whatsoever, all roads are blocked and everything done. There is nothing you can do about anything, got it?
This brings enormous freedom, ‘I can’t do anything about anything.’ Now don’t ask me, ‘What can I do when I can’t do anything about anything?’ (Sri Sri laughs)
Faith comes to play only at time of crisis, and the funniest thing is, at the time of crisis the first thing one loses is faith.
When it is most needed that is when people lose faith. That is why even faith is a gift.
Q: Is the spiritual path unique for each individual? If so, how do we get personal guidance from you?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Yes, we are teaching individually, at the same time altogether. There are seven billion people and we are very few teachers, so we will teach everybody.
In the 7 billion, there are only 0.00000000000001 percent people, maybe, and you are one amongst them.
Q: Guruji, I am going through a tough phase in my life and I am facing problems one after another. I try to solve it spiritually, practically, astrologically but nothing seems to work. I do regular sadhana, what should I do?
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: But still life is going on. Just turn back and see, if you would have not solved any of the problems then how are you existing? My dear, you should just look back and see factually, ask someone else to evaluate. In the last 10 years, you had only problems? Okay, if you have had problems, haven’t you solved even a single problem in the last 10 to 15 years?
Then there is no need to solve problems because anyways the problems that came have all gone, and you are still alive, and you are still doing sadhana. That is great thing. That means the problems could not do anything to you. They came and they left, you didn’t even have to find a solution to them. Do you see what I’m saying?
Don’t generalize it again or don’t label it, ‘My life is a failure, I am always having problems.’
Always having problems? Not possible!
Look at those who have greater problems, look at the problems I have. Do you know how many questions I have to answer per day? Somebody said, ‘Guruji, if you had charged even $10 per question you could have become bigger than Bill Gates.’ I would not disagree with that person, perhaps yes.
Do you know how many emails I get? 101,000 emails.
Last month I traveled to so many countries; 12 countries and 18 cities in 1 month. 19 hours a day I am busy. I just arrive from a long trip, immediately there will be 100 questions I will have to answer.
Accept people as they are, and there are many, bipolar, schizophrenic, and all those other types of specimens as well. Have you ever seen me getting annoyed at any one of them, ever?
Just imagine, in this situation to remain sane is a big problem. I heard psychiatrists in their profession end up as patients after a while, because they keep listening to the problem of people.
Michael Fischman was once conducting a course for doctors and their patients and he said, ‘Guruji, you know it was very difficult to say who the doctor is and who the patient is.’ The group was such.
I don’t know how far this is true, but I have heard from several people that often people who are doctors in this field they end up as patients.
There was a survey recently done in AIIMS (All India Institute of Medical Sciences), they said that 78% of doctors are sick, they become patients themselves. This is a survey report, astonishing, isn’t it?
So, look at those who have more problems than you and you will find your problem is nothing. The world is all problems. Who does not have problems? Jesus had big problems here. The whole Catholicism movement sprung from the problems of Jesus, not by his teachings. It is all focused on suffering, isn’t it? Teaching is there of course, but suffering is the main thing. Nativity is not the symbol of Christianity, it is the cross; crucifixion.
Same with Krishna, he also had so many problems till the end. Finally he had to give up. He said to all his very dear ones, ‘You all go up North. This city of mine is going to drown.’ His own clans were fighting with each other and became so arrogant. Krishna’s clan, all his soldiers and all the subjects of his kingdom, they were all so arrogant because they thought they owned Lord Krishna, he is an enlightened being. ‘The lord himself is ours and we are from his family. Who can do anything to us?’ They went with such arrogance and they fought with each other, destroyed everybody and got destroyed. That is why I say don’t look for any perfection here, this world is imperfect. Whatever perfection you can bring in the world, bring it, and then wash your hands and enjoy yourself. Definitely do whatever you can. That doesn’t mean you leave some things imperfect, no! You are here to bring whatever perfection level you can, and that much merit you gain. As much as you walk, that many skills will blossom in your own life and that much happier you will be. So if you don’t do anything you will be unhappy. So do things which you are supposed to do and you become free.
Transform yourself - Sri Sri Ravi Shankar (Article from ‘The Week’)
Posted on December 24, 2006 by allaboutgoogle
In this era of science and technology, we can be creative and productive, and at the same time not lose the humanness that we are all born with. Just material things or comfort alone do not make you comfortable. You may have a good bed to sleep on, but unable to sleep because of insomnia or worry! You need to get a broad understanding about yourself and your priorities. Clarity in the mind makes things much easier-understanding your basic emotions like love, your interaction with people around you, knowing about your ego or what your intellect or mind is saying to you and introspection will give you a few minutes of relaxation which is very vital. So, what is most important is introspection about one’s own life and how to improve the quality of life-this intention itself will open many doors for you to feel better about yourself. First of all, find out for yourself whether you are healthy.
Health is…
a disease-free body.
a quiver-free breath.
a stress-free mind.
an inhibition-free intellect.
an obsession-free memory.
an ego that includes all.
a soul that is free from sorrow.
Have you ever thought ‘what is the purpose of your life?’, ‘What is the meaning of life?’, ‘What is life all about?’.
These questions are very, very precious. When these questions dawn in your mind, only then your life begins! But, when these questions come into your mind, don’t be in a hurry to get an answer. Those who know will not tell you and those who tell don’t know! You can plug your ears and walk off! These questions are the tools by which you can dig deeper and the answers come from within you. Once these questions come into your life then you start “living” life rather than just existing. To know for what you are in this planet, find out what you are not here for!
You are not here to be sad.
You are not here to blame.
You are not here to be miserable.
You are not here to worry.
You are not here to show off.
You are not here to get stressed out.
You are not here to get irritated and irritate others.
The list goes on.
All our struggles in life are to know more. You are trying your level-best to understand your feelings and emotions, and you get into more and more and more confusion. This is what has happened with psychology today. It tries to explain to you why you feel like the way you are feeling. The “why” arises always when you are unhappy. You ask “Why this problem to me of all the people?” Nobody ever asked, “Why am I so happy?” You want to understand, “why am I not feeling good?” or “why am I angry?”, or ”why is this not happening?” The more you try to understand and try to dig it; you seem to understand less and less. The mystery deepens, but an illusion comes as though “I know it”. But that is for a short while. We ourselves do not know and we try to explain to others! Stop your explanations; your explanations have put you into a soup and make other people also more confused. You don’t know what is happening in your mind. Mind is like a roller coaster-it’s a crowd. Just be in the simple and innocent state of “I don’t know!”. This life is a mystery-beautiful-live it.
Living the mystery of life so totally is joy.
Becoming the mystery is divine.
You are a mystery!
When you see life in this context, clarity dawns in your mind and your life improves.
1 Review the context of your life
Look at your own life in the light of time. Millions of years have passed and millions will come. What is your life? 60, 70 or 100 years? Span of life is insignificant. It is not even a drop in the ocean. In terms of space you simply don’t exist! This understanding dissolves the ego. Ego is ignorance of your reality, ignorance of your existence. Now, just to know this, do we have to do something else? Just open your eyes: “Who am I? How I am on this planet? What is my life time?” Awareness dawns in the mind, and you will stop worrying about little things like, “this person said this thing to me and that person broke away with me and this happened with that person and I am going to say this….” All smallness will simply drop away, and you will be able to live every moment of your life.
Your life reels around your context. You should be happy in life. All other businesses involve ups and downs which is very natural. If there is a body, then it will get cold, cough, fever or something else and it will go away. But take care to see that happiness is always established in you. That is known as purashaartha. Our love, faith and belief should be deep-rooted, then everything else moves on its own. How many events take place in life! Are you able to maintain your equanimity always? Not everything in the world is sweet. If you are grounded with faith, like the husk with grain, you will progress.
Take this decision: “Whatever happens I will be there. I will be grounded. God’s protection is there on me. Whatever happens, I will never go down. I always have God’s hand with me.” Keep your mind in peace in all situations. The rest will be taken care of. You have to take at least one step forward, which is to be in peace and equanimity. “Oh! Nothing happened. Nothing of my work happened.” If you are able to laugh in such a situation, then understand that you have protection with you! The world is filled with love. Everybody has love inside them. You have to see that in your mind.
Your head will be in the mud in a few years; don’t put mud in your head while you are still alive! If you review the context of your life, the quality of your life will improve.
2 Know life’s impermanence
See the impermanence in this life. That is the truth. Turn back and see that all that you did is like a dream. All have passed, the whole thing is finished. Tomorrow will pass. Now and then, a pinch of unpleasantness comes. It makes you aware of your pleasantness. Suppose you never had unpleasant moments in life, you would never have pleasant ones. Your life would stagnate in utter boredom and you would become like a stone. So, in order to keep you alive, now and then, here and there, nature gives you a little pinch. It makes life more lively. Accept it.
You don’t have to be afraid in life. There is always support. So, every pinch that you are having in life is for the best, to make your life more lively and enjoyable. Day and night you work so hard. The whole week is spent working, coming home tired, eating, going to bed. The same routine the next day. Weekends have become another routine.
If you’re awake, then you see there is so much foolishness! Just watch when four or five people get together and have a gossip session. In a gossip session, you can immediately change the topic of conversation. This is the thing with a crowd. If ten people are talking about the weather and you change the topic to stock markets, everybody will immediately talk stock markets, whether they know about them or not. It is great fun.
Being aware of this impermanent nature of our life, you find that there is something in you that has not changed. There is a reference point by which you can say things are changing. That reference point is the source of life. That is wisdom. With wisdom, your life improves.
3 Make your smile cheaper
A research done in England found that a baby smiles 400 times a day, an adolescent 17 times and an adult doesn’t smile at all! The more successful one keeps a very stiff face. Is roughness a sign of success? Is being stressed a sign of prosperity, growth or dignity?
You should smile more. Every day, every morning, look at the mirror and give a good smile to yourself. You know what happens when you smile? All the muscles in your face get relaxed. The nerves in your brain get relaxation, and you get the confidence, courage and energy to move on in life.
You know, your smile is so fragile! Just one telephone call is enough to take it away! But what is the big deal about your feelings? Bundle them up and throw them into the ocean! Once you are rid of your ‘feelings’ you can be happy. Just see why your spirits go down? Because somebody said something stupid to you. And why did they say a stupid thing? Because they had some garbage they needed to throw out and you were there, ready to catch it! And once you have caught it, you hold on to it so passionately! Come on! Wake up! Don’t let your smile be snatched away by anybody!
Usually, you give your anger freely and smile rarely as though a smile is costly. In ignorance, anger is cheaper and smile costly. In knowledge, a smile is free like sun, air, and water and anger is extremely expensive, like a diamond. Make your smile cheaper and anger expensive! You are here for a greater cause. Just remember that. Take a challenge: “Come what may, I am going to smile today and be happy!” Smile more.
4 Be enthusiastic and praise others
Enthusiasm is the nature of life. We often have a tendency to put cold water on other’s enthusiasm. Reverse this tendency. Take every opportunity to praise others and support their enthusiasm. If you put down other’s enthusiasm, the same may happen to you. As you sow, so shall you reap. Recollect how much enthusiasm and joy you had when you went to the primary school. Someone without enthusiasm is like a corpse. But as you mature, the enthusiasm curve declines. As enthusiasm declines, we stop communicating.
How would you like to see yourself? Happy and bubbling with enthusiasm or dull and difficult to please? Often, you like to be pleased, appeased and cajoled. So you put up a tough, upset face and act difficult to please. If a person has to appease and please ten people all the time, it will be so tiring. People who keep a long face and expect others to cajole and appease them make others run away. Lovers often do this. They expend a lot of energy in cajoling, and this brings down the joy and celebration of the moment.
If you feel down, appease and please yourself. Your need to be appeased by someone else is the sign of grossness. If you want attention, all you get is tension. It is not possible to attain Divine Love with a complaining face. Become one whose enthusiasm never dies.
5 Make meditation a part of your life
The higher goals in life can only be realised through a few minutes of meditation and introspection.
What is meditation?
Mind without agitation is meditation.
Mind in the present moment is meditation.
Mind that has no hesitation, no anticipation is meditation.
Mind that has come back home, to the source, is meditation.
Mind that becomes “no mind” is meditation.
Deeper you are able to rest, dynamic you will be in activity. Even though deep rest and dynamic activity are opposite values, they are complementary. Before the body leaves you, you learn to leave everything. That is freedom. What are you looking for? Are you looking for some great joy? YOU ARE JOY!
I will give you an example. Have you seen dogs biting bones? You know why they bite bones? Biting wounds their mouth. Its own blood comes out and the dog feels that the bone is very tasty! Poor dog spends the whole time chewing the bone but getting nothing out of it! Any joy you experience in life is from the depth of your self, when you let go all that you hold on to and settle down being centred in that space. That is called meditation. Actually, meditation is not an act; it is the art of doing nothing! The rest in meditation is deeper than the deepest sleep that you can ever have because in meditation you transcend all desires.
Meditation is letting go of anger from the past and all the planning for the future. Meditation is accepting this moment and living every moment totally with depth. Just this understanding, and a few days of continuous practice of meditation can change the quality of our life. The best comparison of the three states of consciousness-waking, sleeping and dreaming-is with the nature. Nature sleeps, awakes and dreams! It happens in a magnificent scale in existence, and it is happening in a different scale in the human body. Wakefulness and sleep are like sunrise and darkness. Dream is like the twilight in between.
And meditation is like the flight to the outer space, where there is no sunset, no sunrise, nothing! I am sure that deep within, every one of you feel that you have not grown, meaning you have not changed, not grown old. This indicates the soul in you, the depth in you, the spirit in you doesn’t change, doesn’t grow old, it’s not aging. The body is aging but something in you is not aging. Getting in touch with that something that doesn’t age brings beauty in life. That is meditation.
6 Go to the most beautiful place
Only if there is alertness and presence of mind can your life improve. For this, you need to cultivate the habit of listening. Most of us are not good listeners. When you are listening to somebody, the speaker’s very first sentence triggers some conversation within you. You are constantly agreeing or disagreeing with the speaker. Have you ever wondered whether you can listen without any thoughts or pre-conceived notions? To cultivate the habit of listening, you have to “go” to a place where everything is beautiful!
Where is this place? That most beautiful place is within you! When you come to this place, then any place is beautiful. Then, wherever you go, you add beauty there.
Learning something about our breath is very important. Our breath has a great lesson to teach us: for every rhythm in the mind, there is a corresponding rhythm in the breath, for every rhythm in the breath, there is a corresponding emotion. So, when you cannot handle your mind directly, through breath you can handle the mind. Neither at school nor at home does anybody teach you what to do when you are upset or angry or depressed. The first thing we did when we came to this planet is that we took a deep breath and then we started to cry.
The last thing we’ll be doing: we’ll breathe out and make others cry! In between, the whole life, we are breathing in and out, but, we have learnt very little about our breath! No breath, no life… know breath, know life!
We need to learn a little bit about our breath. We need to know a little bit about all the layers of our existence-body, breath, mind, intellect, memory, ego and the self. This is what I call Art of Living, learning a little bit about ourselves, the seven layers of our life. And that makes you be in the present moment, and it helps us to maintain the innocence that we are all born with, and feel at home with everybody, anywhere. What I would suggest is, take one week off every year for yourself, like you take your car for servicing. During that time, align yourself with nature, wake up with the sunrise, do some exercise, eat proper food, just as much food as necessary, some exercises, yoga, and some breathing exercises, a few minutes of singing, and then some silent moments, enjoying the creation.
Book yourself on a trip to this most beautiful place in the universe. Then you find that every day is a vacation and a celebration!
7 Communicate effectively
Learning to communicate effectively with everyone is a skill worth possessing. Most of the time you find that you are out of place. Communicating without prejudice is vital for success.
If you are faced with someone who knows more than you, be like a child and keep your ears and eyes open for learning. If you are faced with someone who knows less than you, be humble and strive to make them as good as or better than you. Play with a small child as you played when you were a child. Talk with an elderly person remembering that one day you will be like that. Communicate with a person of your age group like you are his/her best friend.
This world is varied beyond our imagination, and there’s always something to share, learn and teach. When you are centered, you become a powerful communicator. And when your communication improves, your life improves.
8 Take out time for yourself
If for the whole day you are engaged in only gathering information, you do not take out time for yourself to think and reflect. A few quiet moments are sources for creativity.
Some time during the day, sit for a few minutes, get into the cave of your heart, eyes closed, and kick the world away like a ball. But, during the day be 100 per cent attached to the work. Eventually, you will be able to be both attached and detached. This is the skill of living, the art of living.
Renunciation refills your energy. Creativity cannot happen only just through efforts. There is a beautiful story about Chhatrapati Shivaji. At one time Shivaji became so frustrated about ruling his kingdom that he went to his guru Samarth Ramdas and told him that he is fed up and that he just wants to renounce everything. Ramdas told him that he can renounce everything. Shivaji became so happy and relaxed at the very thought. Then Ramdas told him: “Now I am the king and you are my servant. Will you do whatever I ask you to do?” Shivaji replied: “For you I am ready to do anything.” Ramdas said: “Very good. Will you run this country for me?” Shivaji replied: “Yes, I will run the country for you!” Total renunciation had brought zeal and enthusiasm in him.
Creativity springs up when you are relaxed. You have to renounce all work you have done the whole day, only then can you rest in the night.
Though many times pain, struggle and frustration have brought out creativity in some people, these are not the only reasons for a person to be creative. Millions of people in the world are struggling or frustrated, but they are not creative. So, taking out some time for yourself improves the quality of your life.
9 Better the world around you
A river needs two bunks to flow. The difference between flood and a normal river is that water flow is regulated in a river. During floods, water has no direction. Similarly, the energy in our life needs some direction to flow. If you don’t give direction, it is all confusion. Today, most people are confused because there is no direction in life. When you are happy, there is so much of life-energy in you; but when this life-energy doesn’t know where to go, how to go, it gets stuck. When it stagnates, it rots. For life-energy to move in a direction, commitment is essential.
Life runs with commitment. If you observe every small thing or big thing in life, they go with certain commitment. A student takes admission in a school or college with a commitment. Needless to say, a family runs on commitment: mother is committed to the child, child is committed to the parents, husband is committed to wife, and wife is committed to husband. Greater the commitment you take, greater the energy/power you gain to fulfil that commitment. Greater the commitment, easier things are. Smaller the commitment, suffocating it is for you. Smaller commitments suffocate you because you have more capacity, but you are stuck in a small hole!
When you have ten things to do and if one thing goes wrong, you can keep doing the ten things; the thing that has gone wrong will set itself right! But if you have only one thing to do and that goes wrong, then you are stuck with it. Usually we think we should have resource and then we will commit. Greater the commitment you take, greater the resources will come to you automatically. Whatever you are committed to brings you strength. If you are committed to your family then your family supports you, if you are committed to society, you enjoy the support of society.
Commitment will always bring comfort in the long run. Make a commitment to make this world a better place to live.
10 Nourish your emotions
A person without emotions is like wood without any juice. You need to make your life interesting to make people be with you. This will happen when you nurture yourself with music, prayer and service.
The way to expand from individual to universal consciousness is to share others’ sorrow and joy. As you grow, your consciousness should also grow. When you expand in knowledge with time, then depression is not possible. The way to overcome personal misery is to share universal misery! The way to expand personal joy is to share universal joy. Instead of thinking “what about me?” and “what can I gain from this world?”, think “what can I do for the world?”
Silence heals and rejuvenates. Silence gives you depth and stability and brings creativity. Service leads to the dynamic experience of heart. It creates a sense of belongingness. Lack of service can land a person in depression. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Pain is physical. Suffering is mental. If you are not sensitive to others’ pain, then you are not a human being. That is why you need to serve. Service alone can bring contentment in life, but service without silence tires you. Service without spirituality will be shallow, and cannot be sustained for a long period. The deeper the silence, the more dynamic the outer activity. Both are essential in life.
When you bring some relief or freedom to someone through seva, good vibrations and blessings come to you. Seva brings merit; merit allows you to go deep in meditation; meditation brings back your smile. When you sing and pray from your heart , your emotions are nourished and you become “lively”.
11 Plan short and long-term goals
At any given point of time, our mind is oscillating between the past and the future. Either it is angry or sad about the past or anxious about the future. Whatever actions you do in this state of mind, you regret after some time. This is how you get caught up in the same old cycle. Does it mean that you should not plan your future? No! You should plan your short and long-term goals. Then, and only then, life gets a channel, a direction to flow. When the mind is totally in the present, the right planning happens. Not only should you plan your goals, but plan the means and methods to work towards them. Where would you like to see yourself after three years? After 20 years? After 40 years? Don’t be feverish about the results. Give your 100 per cent. If you are feverish about the results, it will lead you to disappointment.
Do not make a list of all the things you want to achieve. Select few things that really matters. Once a teacher brought a glass jar to the class and a bag with some big stones, some small stones and some sand. He asked the students to put all the contents from the bag into the glass jar. Some students put the sand first, then small stones and by then there was no place for the big stones. The teacher later explained that had they put the bigger stones first, then the smaller stones, there was always space around the stones for all the sand in the bag. This example teaches us an important lesson in prioritising things. If we put things that will give us maximum fulfilment in the long term, smaller things will automatically fall into place.
Among all planets in the solar system, the earth is privileged to host life in its many forms, and, among all the species, humans are most privileged, for, they can host knowledge. Again and again you remember that you are peace, you are love, you are joy and that you are hosting the creator. If you do not realise that you are the host, you live like a ghost!
12 Prayer is a vital tool
Prayer is a vital tool to improve your life. It also nurtures values like integrity and honesty. Prayer happens in two situations, or in a combination of situations. When you feel grateful or when you feel utterly helpless. If you are not grateful and prayerful, you will be miserable. In either case your prayers will be answered.
What you can do, you do.
What you cannot do, you pray for!
It is said the divine dawns in you when you pray for it, when you cry for it, when you sing for it. The divine is only waiting for you to dig a little deeper into yourself. Because, it can then fill you with much more nectar! Divine wants you to create more space in you. Cry from your soul for help. This is for those seekers who are weak. Those seekers who are strong-with the power of knowledge-can sing with that joy of what they have achieved! The moment you sing in gratitude, in glory of the divine, it immediately dawns in you, and fills you up again. One type of people is grateful for all their growth. The other type is helpless and weak. Both will be helped.
Spirituality is not some ritual, or doing something. It’s a very pleasant, uplifted state of being and seeing that the whole world is all spirit or consciousness. Use prayer to bring integration in your personality. Whatever you do, know that the higher power has the final say and it will always be for the best.
13 Implement changes if needed
Sorrow simply means that viveka (discrimination) is overshadowed. Viveka means knowing that everything is changing. Your body, your emotions, the people around you and the world-everything is changing. Time and again you have to awaken to this reality. You are often fearful of change. Change is inevitable in many fronts though security is hooked on to stability. You know there is a need for change to improve your life, but you feel secure in the old pattern. You need the courage to implement changes whenever it is necessary. You have to evaluate the pros and the cons. You have to see whether that gives you short-term joy and misery in the long run or short-time pain and joy in the long run.
Life is a combination of both change and non-change. So, use your intelligence and courageously implement changes when you feel that there is a need for change.
14 Identify your limitations
Every time you are unhappy or miserable, you are just coming in touch with your own boundaries! And what can you do? You can just feel thankful: “Oh, I came in touch with my boundary, my limitation. This was my limitation.” You just turn the whole situation into a prayer: “Let there be peace, not just in me but in everybody.” Prayer is that moment when you come in touch with your limitations, your boundaries.
You are peaceful, you are joyful, you are happy as long as you have not come in contact with your boundaries. At that moment what can you do? You can just say, “My Lord, my God, You made me become aware of my boundaries. You bring peace. I am giving it all to You.” That very moment you will start smiling. However hopeless the situation is, you will walk through it, sing through it, dance through it! This is love.
In Hindi, love is written with two-and-a-half letters. They say, “Who is a master, who is a pundit, who is a wise person? Not one who has studied a lot of scriptures, but one who has studied the two-and-a-half letters.” And this two-an-a-half letters is at this moment. It is a test of the moment, when you come in touch with your limitations, your boundaries. You are happy, peaceful. Are you in the boundaries? Or are you maintaining your boundless and the innocent love in the heart? Is it remaining? If it is, then nothing can rob you of peace.
15 Do not lose your friends
Mistakes keep happening all the time. Often you want to correct them. How much can you correct? There are two situations when you correct others’ mistakes.
1 You correct someone’s mistake because it bothers you. But even if you correct it, this does not work.
2 You correct someone’s mistake not because it bothers you, but for their sake so that they can grow.
To correct mistakes you need authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory, but in reality they are not. Authority without love is stifling. Love without authority is shallow. A friend needs to have both authority and love but they need to be in the right combination. This can happen if you are totally dispassionate and centred. When you allow room for mistakes, you can be both authoritative and sweet. That is how the Divine is, the right balance of both. Krishna and Jesus had both.
Don’t make a mistake by pointing out mistakes!
Once a lady came to me and said her husband had lied to her. She was very upset. I asked, “Why does your husband lie to you? Because he loves you, and is afraid to lose your love or hurt you. If he did not love you, he wouldn’t lie to you!”
Do not tell a person a mistake he knows he has committed. By doing this, you will only make him feel more guilty. A magnanimous person will not pick on the mistakes of others and make them feel guilty; he will correct them with compassion and care.
16 Don’t look for perfection
Many a time, you become angry or miserable because of the feverishness for perfection. If you are too much of a perfectionist, you are bound to be an angry person.
In a state of ignorance, imperfection is natural and perfection is an effort. In a state of wisdom or enlightenment, imperfection is an effort; perfection is a compulsion and is unavoidable! Perfection is taking total responsibility, and total responsibility means knowing that you are the only responsible person in the whole world. When you think that others are responsible, then your degree of responsibility diminishes. When you are in total vairagya (dispassion), you can take care of even insignificant things with such perfection. Perfection is the very nature of the enlightened one. When we are joyful, we don’t look for perfection. If you are looking for perfection then you are not at the source of joy. Joy is the realisation that there is no vacation from wisdom. The world appears imperfect on the surface but, underneath, all is perfect. Perfection hides; imperfection shows off.
The wise will not stay on the surface but will probe into the depth. Things are not blurred; your vision is blurred. Infinite actions prevail in the wholeness of consciousness, and yet the consciousness remains perfect, untouched. Realise this now and be natural.
In this world, everything cannot be perfect all the time. Even the best, the greatest of actions, performed with the noblest of intentions, will have some imperfections. It is but natural. Unfortunately, the tendency of our mind is to grab the imperfection and hold on to it. And, in the process, we end up making our moods, our minds imperfect and our souls reel with this nonsense. It is imperative to get out of these cycles, and to become strong and courageous from within.
17 Let us be unpredictable
We often behave like machines. A compliment makes us smile and an insult makes us frown. We don’t have to react in the same way always. You have the freedom to respond differently. You don’t have to answer all questions posed to you. As people have a right to question, you have the right whether to answer or not.
So, be unpredictable!
18 Have a sense of humor
You are endowed with certain naughtiness as a child. Keep it alive. Humour will grease all tough situations. One who has humor can sail through any conflict. Humour is the buffer that saves you from humiliation. If you refuse to be humiliated, you become invincible. Humour brings everyone together, while humiliation tears them apart. In a society torn with humiliation and insult, humour is like a breath of fresh air.
Humor should be coupled with care and concern. Humor can keep the spirit high, yet if overdone it leaves a bad taste. Humor without wisdom is shallow. Humor without sensitivity is satire-it comes back to you with more problems.
The wise use humor to bring wisdom and to lighten situations. The intelligent use humour as a shield against humiliation. The cruel use humor as a sword to insult others. The irresponsible use humor to escape from responsibility. And fools take humor too seriously!
How does one cultivate a sense of humor?
Humor is not just words, it is the lightness of your being. You do not have to read and repeat jokes.
Taking life not too seriously (because you will never come out of it alive)!
Having a sense of belongingness with everybody, including those who are not friendly.
Practicing yoga and meditation.
Having unshakable faith in the Divine and in the laws of karma.
Being in the company of those who live in knowledge and are humorous.
A willingness to be a clown.
19 Don’t be afraid to make mistakes
Whenever a boundary is broken, it creates some fear. The fear creates dislike. This dislike puts us back in the boundary. And to keep yourself in the boundary you put forth defenses. When you try to defend your position, it is such a stress. Every time you try to defend your position, it makes you more and more weak. Drop all your defenses. When you are totally defenseless, that’s when you’ll be strong.
Your knowledge of a mistake comes to you when you are innocent! Whatever mistake has happened, do not consider yourself a sinner because in the present moment you are again new, pure and clear. Mistakes of the past are past. When this knowledge comes, you are again perfect. Often, mothers scold their children and afterwards feel so guilty. Okay, you got angry at your kid once or twice. Why? Because of a lack of awareness! Awareness was missing, so the anger came up. Knowledge of the self, truth and skills can bring out the best in you. So, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, but not the same mistakes. You have got to be innovative even in your mistakes!
20 Overcome your prejudice
Your prejudice against gender, religion, caste and class does not allow you to mingle with everyone around you. Often, you don’t sit with people who are not economically or socially at par with you. You have to learn to break that barrier. Also, there is age prejudice. Teenagers don’t like to have fun with elderly people and vice versa. Gender prejudice is more prevalent in rural areas. Caste system is present even among the royalties of Europe, the UK and Japan.
Religious prejudice is well known. There are good people and bad people in every community, religion and every section of society. Don’t be prejudiced against them. At the same time don’t be shy about your identity. When you overcome prejudice, you will be very natural, and your quality of life will improve.
21 Feel that “I am blessed”
There is so much talk about success. Have you ever thought what success is? Success is simply ignorance about one’s capabilities. Success is ignorance about the power of the self. Because you assume you can do only this much. If there are obstacles, you are clear about your objective. With a calm and serene mind, think of many possibilities. Know that failures are stepping stones for greater success. Actually, there are no failures in life. All the seeming failures are only stepping stones for greater success. If you feel the obstacle is too much, deep prayer can work miracles.
The feeling that “I am blessed” can help you overcome any failure. Once you realise that you are blessed, then
all the complaints disappear.
all the grumbling disappears.
all the insecurities disappear.
a sense of not being loved disappears.
wanting love disappears.
Ego is always ambitious and wants to do tough jobs like climbing Mount Everest. Whereas in a simple act like watching a butterfly, watering the garden, watching the birds or the sky, can bring deep relaxation, and relaxation connects you with your source. Seemingly trivial actions open a new dimension and bring in immense peace and rest. Just come out of your little shell and feel free.
There is a saying: Behind every successful man is a woman. I will modify this: Behind every success there is the Divine saying “I am behind you”.
22 Do random acts of kindness
Abiding in the self you become the valentine for the whole world. Spirit is the valentine of matter, and matter is the valentine of spirit. They are made for each other. They uphold each other. If you do not respect the spirit, then matter is not pleased. If you honour the spirit then you will care for the world, and when you care for the world it will take care of you.
You are the Christmas tree. At the time of year when no tree bears anything, it has many gifts to offer. A Christmas tree bears the gifts and the lights not for itself. Similarly, all the gifts you are carrying in your life are for others. Anyone who comes to you, you offer them your gifts. When you show kindness, your true nature comes into play. Have you ever done acts of kindness without expecting anything out of it?
Our service should not be mechanical. Once some boy scouts were at a Sunday service, when the priest said, “You should serve.” They asked, “What is this service? Could you give us some example?” He said, “Suppose an old woman wants to cross a road, go and help her cross the road.”
So the boys went and looked for a whole week, but there was no old woman trying to cross a street. Finally, four of them found a woman walking on a footpath. One of the boys went and asked her, “Madam, would you like to cross the road?” She turned and said, “No.” He was disappointed. So another boy went and asked her again, thinking, perhaps, that the first boy hadn’t asked properly. The woman was now a little bit confused. She wondered why she was being asked this. So, she said, it was all right for him to take her across the road. Once they had reached the other side, a third boy came and asked her, “Would you like to cross the road?” Now it really bothered her. When the fourth one approached her, she almost screamed and ran away!
You don’t have to plan acts of kindness. Just do something spontaneously. When you do random acts of kindness, you come in touch with your true nature.
23 Be a student, always
Know that you are a student forever. Do not underestimate anybody. Knowledge may come to you from any corner. Remember the ancient saying “let knowledge flow to me from all sides”. Each occasion teaches you and each person teaches you. The world is your teacher. When you are always looking to learn, you will stop underestimating others. Humility will dawn in your life.
There is a nice story. A man earned a lot of money and then gave all his property to his son. The son then built a small house behind his big house and told his parents: “Now you have to stay there.”
So the old couple stayed there, while the son and his family lived in the bungalow. One day, while playing, the grandchild came to his grandfather’s home, where everything was in pathetic condition. The grandchild said, “Grandpa, be careful with your plate and chair. Don’t break them.” When he asked why, the child said, “Because tomorrow, my father will need them.” One does not realise this fact. You are also going to be old one day.
24 Dream the impossible
Unless you have a dream, you cannot realise it. Every invention has come out of a dream. Dream the impossible. Obviously, dreaming employs something which is beyond your perceived capacity. Consider the faculty which is the preceptor of the dream. Some dreams have impacted your daily living and others have not. Some dreams you remember, and others you have forgotten.
We are all born in this world to do something wonderful and unique; don’t let this opportunity pass by. Give yourself the freedom to dream and think big. Have the courage and determination to achieve those dreams that are dear to you. Many a time people who dreamt big were ridiculed, but they remained strong to achieve their goals.
Do something creative. Not a year should pass without doing something creative.
25 Compare your performance
As we flip the calendar, we need to keep flipping our mind as well. Often, our diaries are full with memories. See that you don’t fill your future dates with past events. Allow the space for creativity to dawn. Celebration of the New Year allows you to be wise. Learn and unlearn from the past, and move on.
In the past year, how many days were you in sanyas? How many days were you struggling, being caught in maya? Turn back and remember the whole year. Do not run away from anything. Do not reject anything. Do not go away from anything. At the same time, let your attention be on the self. This is a delicate balance. That balance is yoga.
A poor man celebrates the New Year once a year. A rich man celebrates each day. But the richest man celebrates every moment.
How rich are you? If you celebrate every moment, you are the Lord of Creation. Review the year while you celebrate. This is your homework. Compare your performance in the year before last and smile.
The year 2007 is fortunate because you are living at this time!!! When you are living for the sake of the world, the world is fortunate. Let time celebrate your presence. You keep smiling as ever.
When you let time celebrate you, you are a witness amid celebration. The heart always longs for the old, the mind for the new. Life is a combination of both. Let the New Year bring into our life ancient wisdom and modernity, as life is incomplete without either of them. Don’t feel shy to speak about human and spiritual values. The time has come now to call the whole world!
